Stop Seeking Validation

In this episode, I will explore ways to stop seeking validation in your business.

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One of the things I see time and time again in business is the need for us to validate what we’re doing as business owners.

You only need your approval

I work with a business bestie and often we ask each other something, that honestly, we already know the answer to. She was joking about it recently saying that it’s as if we have this 4-minute unspoken rule, where we post the question, want the answer in 4-minutes and if we don’t get it, then we just go ahead with our idea anyway! She was SO right! Why do we do that?! Why do we need to have others validate us somehow? (Rhetorical question – please don’t send me loads about mother and father issues – I get it, I have those too!) It happens in life, but I think when you’re in business it can come up even more often.

If you’re working for a boss, you have someone that can check up on you, keep pointing you in the right direction. When you work for yourself you’re essentially on your own. Okay, you might pay for people to support you, and you might have friends that understand your business almost as well as your own, but ultimately the buck stops with you and let’s be honest, sometimes that can be freakin’ scary!

Stop People Pleasing

We follow other people’s advice about being visible. Let’s say you want to write a blog post, but you hate blogging. If you follow someone that says blogging is the only way to grow your business, guess what you’re going to want to follow that advice.

What if there’s another way?

What if you can do business YOUR way?

Don’t like video? Then don’t do it! Seriously. You have permission not to do it. BUT and it is a big but, you need to find other ways to be visible, and where video is a pretty powerful tool, you may have to work harder in other areas of visibility to create the same traction. It’s still possible to be visible without doing video though.

Someone might say you should do something a certain way in your business and you do it but it doesn’t work. It might not, that’s business. It’s all about learning what does and doesn’t work. What works for one business won’t work for another. It’s all one big experiment.

You don’t need other people’s approval though, you just need to find out what works for you.

Live Your Goals, Not Theirs

Test YOUR goals, YOUR theories.

One of the things we do in my Rock Your Visibility programme is work on one area of visibility at a time and we test/measure what works/what doesn’t. That way you only have to test one area of visibility for a month. Still hate it? Don’t do it. Love it but not getting results yet? (results do take time) Keep going, test it over a longer period of time.

Trust Your Intuition

Stuck in a rut? Ask yourself, “What choices do I have here?” and notice what happens as you explore them in turn.

If you tune into your body, you’ll start to notice how it feels. Does it excite you or make you feel all twisty and icky in your tummy?

When you look at the idea on the page in front of you, what’s happening? Has it sent your mojo (motivation) packing or has it set you on fire, biting at the bit to get started?

If the former then it may not be your goal, it just may not what you want for YOUR life.

Now this doesn’t mean though that if it’s scary you don’t do it. Scary is a good thing, it helps you step up and reach new heights in your business. It’s time to stop people pleasing, to work out what goals are yours, what you can adapt and what you need to leave behind.

So remember this:

  • You only need your approval (Get the ideas for sure, but go with what’s right for YOU)
    Stop people pleasing (It doesn’t serve you as a business owner)
  • Live your goals, your life, not theirs
  • Trust your intuition – instead of “I can’t make this work” – ask “HOW can I make this work?”

If you want to double check everything though, there’s always that coach/mentor/friend who enables you to do that 4-minute unspoken rule! The timer starts now!

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here – http://bit.ly/PodVisQuiz. In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

Are You Distorting The Truth?

In this blog post, I will share some ways your mind might be tricking you when it comes to being visible in your business and what you can do about it

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In NLP we talk about cognitive distortions, and even if you’ve done all of the self-development work in the world and your bookshelves are bursting at the seams with personal development books (Oh, is that just my bookshelves then?!) it’s likely that you’ll still end up distorting reality in some way.

When I talk about reality I often wonder whether there is even such a thing. We all have our own interpretations of what’s happened/happening. Okay, okay, I’m going too deep here, let me stay focused, haha!

So what are cognitive distortions?

They are essentially thinking that is distorted, not true. You may notice yourself in some of these distortions. I’ve shared 5 examples of how it might play out with your visibility and how you can work through them.

  1. MIND READING

This is all about making negative assumptions, we are reading the mind of the other person, making up a story of what it could mean.

What You Might Say
“I posted X so they’ll think …. “ (X could be a social media post, blog post etc.)

Challenge It
How do you know? We assume people think certain things about us, and often that assumption is that it’s bad. Ask yourself, “What if they love what I’ve written?”, “What if they really needed to hear that particular message today?”

  1. ALL OR NOTHING THINKING

Black and white thinking – there’s no flexibility

What You Might Say
“I didn’t complete my blog post so it was a complete waste of time”
“They didn’t sign up so I’m rubbish at sales”

Challenge It
This is all about what you are making it mean. Harsh but true! So, you didn’t complete my blog post. So what! Will the world end because your blog post didn’t go out? Unlikely! Ask yourself, “What got in the way?”, “Were there other pressing priorities?”. Tell yourself that you’ve made some progress, so it’s not a complete waste of time, and then challenge yourself to complete the rest of the post by a certain deadline.

For the sales one, ask yourself what other reasons there could be for people not signing up, i.e.

  • Was my message strong enough?
  • Did I have the right offering?
  • What about timings? Did I do sufficient things leading up to the offer of buying something? etc.

There will be many areas that you can test and tweak around your sales. By using the non-sales as an invitation to explore you can open up loads of opportunities to improve. Like anything in business, things need tweaking and adapting over time.

  1. OVER GENERALISATION

This is where you tell yourself, you ‘always’ do something, or you ‘never’ do something

What You Might Say
“I’m always scared to do anything on visibility”
“I always have a lack of confidence when it comes to… “
“I never get likes on any posts that I write”

Challenge It

Ask yourself, “What am I scared of specifically?” It might be that Facebook Lives are a particular area of visibility that you find uncomfortable.

  • Drill down into the specifics of the fear.  
    What specific element about Facebook Lives are you scared of?
  • What specifically makes you feel uncomfortable?
  • Is it not knowing how to do the technical side, what to say, what to wear, how to label the video, how to come across in the right way?

As you unpack this you’ll find you have more to work with, and can create a little plan to improve your skills

  1. DWELLING

This is where you spend time ruminating on things that went wrong instead of what’s gone right.

What You Might Say
“That launch was awful, I never get clients coming in when I do launches”
“I did that video and it was awful, I messed up my wording, kept ‘umm’ing all the time. I hated it”

The launch one is actually one of my personal go-to’s. I’ve had great experiences with launches and not so great experiences, yet this one likes to trip me up on a regular basis!

Challenge It
Ask yourself, “Was the launch completely awful?”, “What lessons could I take away from it that would help me do a better launch next time?”, “What other ways could I bring people onto my programme, without doing the heavy launch business model?” (I’ll be writing a post on that one at some point!)

The video – Ask yourself, “What happened that made me mess up my wording?”, “What can I learn from this that will help me do a better video next time?” Often when we mess up on video, we’ve had distractions, someone has come online live that’s completely thrown us, and/or we might not have prepared as well as we could, or maybe even it just wasn’t the day to go live – maybe that day was the day you were tired or not at your best energy wise. There will always be a lesson you can learn from it to help to improve going forwards.

  1. FORTUNE TELLING

Have you got your crystal ball out and you’re trying to foretell what’s going to happen in the future in your biz? Well stop it already! You’re making negative predictions without evidence/facts (Oh and don’t tell me that you have past evidence – that is just what it is – in the past – so that isn’t a measure of how things can go instead!)

What You Might Say
“My webinar is going to go badly.”
“Nobody will sign up for my challenge”

Challenge It
Simply ask yourself, “How do I know?” Seriously, how can you possibly know how it will go? It could be rocking for all you know. Keep challenging yourself and remember past is not always an indicator of the future.

So there you have it – 5 simple ways to work out where you might be creating distortions in your biz.

Share below which one you think you might do, and what you’re going to do instead.

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page (http://bit.ly/FBbizPinnedPost) and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here. In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

Are You A Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen?

I recently revamped my Visibility Quiz and thought I’d have a bit of fun with it.

Because about 95% of my audience is female I decided to play around with feminine words. Words don’t work, you can just replace the quiz personalities as Lord, Count, Prince & King or whatever creative names you can come up with!

So what’s it all about?

Well really it’s just a bit of fun – there’s no science behind it. I just identified different levels of visibility in business, so based on your level of visibility you’ll either get a score of Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen (or your equivalent) What’s really interesting is how addictive visibility can become when you make a game of it. I’ve had people in groups asking how they can get to the next level, and asking if they can work with someone at a higher level to get tips to improve their  own visibility.

Like anything online there’s all of these hooks to help you take action, there’s leaderboards, and app points and so on, so I thought I’d create something for my dreamie clients to help them take action on their visibility, rather than it being one of those someday jobs. You know the ones.

The thing is there are over 80,000 ways to market and so it’s no wonder we become overwhelmed with the best way to be visible.

Aside from all of the mindset monkey crap that goes on in our heads we have thoughts running through our minds like, ‘Where’s the best place for me to market myself?’, ‘What’s my message?’ ‘Is anybody even going to notice me where it’s such a crowded marketplace?’

The big question I often get asked is this:  ‘What’s the right way to be visible?’

Well there is no ‘right’ way as such, as every business is different. I don’t believe in the whole ‘follow my blueprint and you’ll get overnight success model’. Saying that though, I’ve fallen into the trap of using it in the past. The right way is whatever is right for your dreamie clients. Who are they? Where are they? What do they need to hear from you? How can you show up so that they connect with you quickly? What next steps do you need them to take?

Lots of people associate visibility as just doing videos. I think there are LOADS of ways to be visible, visible to me is about being seen, showing up. That could be by writing blog posts, by being interviewed on podcasts, by connecting one on one with potential dreamie clients. If you’re like me then being an introvert means you find it exhausting just doing video. I like to mix things up a bit, and do you know the good thing about that? You get to tap into everyone else’s unique way of receiving info too. Win:win 🙂

What do the different levels mean?

Lady: You’re at the start of your visibility journey, there’s some work to be done. It may be that you’ve done some of the things like posting some things on social media, getting clear on who your dreamie clients are, and starting to hang out online in the right places.

The fabulous thing about being a Lady is that you get to see really quick progress, there’s some great quick wins that you can put into place 🙂

Countess: You’ve done some of the ground work and you’re starting to get a bit more consistent with your messages. Maybe you’re networking, maybe you’re on a social media platform and showing up regularly. You’re on your way!

Princess: You’re starting to get a bit more strategic with what you do. When you’re here you might be running your own group or writing regular blog posts. You’ve worked out lots of things that help you get in front of the right people, you just need to do more of it / try new things.

Queen: You are rocking your visibility! Go you! There will still be more things you can do to get visible. What will your next step be?

If you haven’t done the quiz, check it out here. I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page (Link in the show notes) and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here. In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

Building your visibility takes time, so be patient and persistent. This will only work for you if you’re in the long game. Yes, you might get some quick wins along the way, but It’s the consistency that’s King!

Here’s a link to my Fabulous Resource Centre. You’ll also get access to lots of other biz resources too! (NB. By joining this list you’ll also be adding to my newsletter list)

Join my free FB community to connect with me and other fabulous solopreneurs to help you Rock Your Fabulous Biz.

Role Modelling Your Woo – An Interview With A Twist With Rosie Slosek of The Money Haven

In today’s episode, I’m chatting to Rosie Slosek of The Money Haven.com about money and embracing the woo in your business. Rosie gives you a safe space and the support you need to sort out the money side of your business. She combines hand holding for the emotional overwhelm and practical actions to support you starting your business, demystifying limited companies, doing your tax return and getting your business in good shape to grow.

We’re having a bit of a different conversation today. We’re going to be talking about role modelling the woo in you business. So for me, woo means the intangible, spiritual side of the business, law of attraction, meditation, oracle cards and more. What I love about it is it frees up your mind. It’s not just about positive thinking, because let’s be For everyone it will mean something different. Let’s talk with Rosie to find out a bit more about her and how she embraces her woo.


In this episode, you’ll learn

Key points:

  1. Ways to embrace the woo even when you don’t believe in it (woo for non-believers)
  2. Money – the importance of having a safe space to talk about the practical steps
  3. How woo helped Rosie to find her perfect for her coach
  4. Using oracle cards for the money in your business
  5. Why it’s totally okay to show up 100% as you in your business

Find out more about Rosie on Facebook page at The Money Haven Previously One Man Band Accounting and over on her website, The Money Haven

 

Join my free FB community to connect with me and other fabulous solopreneurs to help you Rock Your Fabulous Biz.

7 Questions to Improve your Visibility Through Blogging

In this blog post, I will share 7 questions you can ask yourself that will help you when considering blogging/more blogging.

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Do you like to blog? I do, but then I like to write so the two go hand in hand. As my hubby would tell you I also like to talk, which I why I also my blog and podcast show in combination to share my message.

Whatever stage you’re at with your blogging, it’s worth doing a mini review. Here’s a few questions to get you started.

1. Do you like blogging/writing?

These questions are important. Do you like to write or not? If you don’t like to write, then maybe blogging isn’t for you.

Yes, it’s good for visibility and yes, it builds your credibility but if you’re kicking and screaming every time you sit down to write one word then maybe a different form of visibility would be better for you. Perhaps you’re a master at FB Lives (okay, so maybe not a master, but you enjoy doing them) or maybe you just like sharing on Instagram. It’s all about finding what works for you and what works for your dreamie clients too.

PS. This isn’t about making excuses though. I’m not letting you off the hook that easily!

2. What are you doing so far in terms of blogging?

Maybe you’re just starting out and haven’t written a single word, or you have a document full of posts ready to go live ‘one day’. You just don’t want that one day to come too soon because it scares the life out of you sharing your message online!

Perhaps you’ve been blogging a little while but you haven’t checked out what ROI you’re getting (return on investment) as in is it even worth your effort. (I’d add a note here though, we get caught up on the number of comments on our blog posts, and lack of comments doesn’t necessarily mean that people aren’t reading your posts.

Sometimes people just don’t take the time to comment, but love everything you’ve written. I’ve been to many a live event and had people saying they love my blog. I usually reply with a ‘Yay, someone’s reading it’ because if comments were anything to go by with mine I would think it was just me who saw my posts!

3. How often do you share a post?

This is a good one to check in on. We are aiming for consistency here so far better to share consistently once a month, than to share once a week and then disappear for ages. I know you like to hide away, I do too but that doesn’t create consistency! There will be times, a bit like I’ve had lately, when your blog isn’t as much of a priority and consistency doesn’t happen, but it’s fine. Life gets in the way and it’s about getting back on track as quickly as you can.

Consider what good consistency of posting would be for you. You want it to be one that makes you feel calm and in control, rather than wanting to tear your hair out as you try to come up with new ideas all of the time.

4. Where are you sharing your posts and where might be good places to share?

The loaded question – Where to share. Quick answer, where your dreamies are, but play around with this over time. It’s worth checking because we can get into a rut of always sharing in the same places.

Also, are you maximising the blog posts that you write, or do they just get written once and left to slowly drop further and further down the pages of your website?

Save yourself some time, dig out some old blog posts that you like and get them scheduled in for sharing. You don’t have to keep reinventing the wheel! It doesn’t mean you share the same content over and over again and drive your tribe crazy, but it does mean you could repost something you shared 6 months ago.

You will have new members in your tribe by then, and remember not everyone sees what you post and/or needs what you post at that time, so it never hurts remind people. Think of your own habits, sometimes you need to hear something a few times before taking action.


5. What’s working with your blogging so far?

As business owners, we often talk about what’s not working. We’re on a lifelong mission to fix all of the problems in our business. Let’s flip that and focus on what is working and do more of that.

For example, I know I get lots of sign ups when I do guest posts. Now, there are two strands to that, one I am writing very targeted posts which work really well with the companies I write for. What I hadn’t connected though was that I write slightly differently when I do guest articles, they’re often a bit less chatty and more succinct. So, it’s then about testing different options to find out why something might be working and reviewing what you could do differently.

6. What posts do you enjoy writing?

If you are really connected to your passion, then allow that message to come through in your writing. If you’re enjoying what you write, it’s likely that your dreamie clients will enjoy it too. If you find yourself screwing your nose up when you talk about a particular aspect on your blog, then don’t write about that. Find something that you find exciting. Allow that passion to shine through.

7. What have you learned about the way you currently blog?

I know that I do my best writing when it’s last minute. I’ve tried writing loads of things in advance. I sometimes go through phases of batching, but it’s a bit of a push for my creative muse. She doesn’t like it. She likes to fly by the seat of her knickers! She thinks it’s great fun stressing me out and not giving me much creativity until the last minute.

That’s taught me that too much structure doesn’t work for me when it comes to blogging. I like to talk about what inspires me in that moment. What I do have though is an editorial calendar that I use in Asana (a fabulous project management tool that I use) I’ve plugged in lots of different titles so that I have some inspiration to choose from – that feels like a more flexible plan to me (Bonus that it doesn’t upset my creative muse too!)


If you’re not sure whether to blog or not, why not test it for a bit and see how it works out for you. In my Rock Your Visibility programme we focus on, and test, one area of visibility for one month. That way you can decide if it’s something you enjoy or not, and whether it brings you any results. Obviously any form of testing takes time, but this way allows you to try things on for size.  Sometimes we make excuses for not being visible, other times we might not be playing to our strengths so doing this form of testing helps with that.

Blogging can feel scary, like you’re baring your soul to the world, but actually it’s just you sharing information to help others. One of the ways I got into the blogging habit was to complete Sarah Arrow’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge. This is where you blog for 30-days consistently. It was REALLY full on, but once you’ve completed it and you’re mucking around telling yourself you can’t write a blog post, you get to remind yourself that you pulled off 30 posts in 30-days so it’s nonsense that you can’t pull off one. Move over mindset monkeys!

If you enjoyed this post, then you can get the freebie that goes along with it, one I normally only share with my Rock Your Visibility Members. You get a simple worksheet you can use to work through these questions, plus 7 steps to a great blog post and more. Click this link to get access. (NB. You’ll also get added to my newsletter list too where I share exclusive weekly hints, tips and strategies to help you get more visible in your business)

Get Rid Of Your Head Trash About Money

In today’s blog post, Ruby will be talking to Noah St.John, who is known as “The Power Habits Mentor” and is famous for helping entrepreneurs get rid of their head trash and make more money.


He has 14 books under his belt, and the only author in history to have works published by Hay House Author, HarperCollins, Simon & Schuster, Mindvalley, Nightingale-Conant, and the Chicken Soup for the Soul publisher.

He also appears frequently in the news worldwide, including ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, Parade Magazine, Forbes.com, and The Huffington Post. This man knows what he’s talking about!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • #1 reason so many entrepreneurs feel STUCK.
  • 3 big mistakes even smart entrepreneurs make when it comes to reaching their goals.
  • The hidden connection between habits and money.

Find out more about Noah St. John here – NoahStJohn.com and download his free book here – SendMeaBookNoah.com

Want to find out more about Ruby?

  • Join her free Facebook Group, Rock Your Fabulous Biz, to get free visibility hints, tips and trainings
  • Here’s a link to her Fabulous Resource Centre: http://bit.ly/FabResCtr You’ll also get access to lots of other biz resources too!

Part 7 Rock Your Content

In today’s blog post, I will share the final part of a seven-part mini-training series to help you rock your visibility. Check out the other training in the series here if you missed them.

Part 1 of 7 Rock Your Mindset
Part 2 Rock Your Connection
Part 3 Rock Your Story

Part 4 Rock Your Relationship Building
Part 5 Rock Your Planning
Part 6 Rock Your Procrastination & Overwhelm

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • The secret to not burning out when creating content
  • A building blocks model to help you create content over and over again with ease
  • Ideas for how to reuse content instead of having to constantly come up with new ideas

Here’s a link to my Fabulous Resource Centre: http://bit.ly/FabResCtr
You’ll also get access to lots of other biz resources too!

Join my free Facebook Group, Rock Your Fabulous Biz, to get free visibility hints, tips and trainings – Rock Your Fabulous Biz.

Why You Need To Have A Can-Do Attitude In Your Business, With Gail Gibson

In today’s episode, I will be talking to Gail Gibson about having a can-do attitude and growth mindset. Gail is an award-winning business performance coach who enables small businesses, through the teaching of effective tools, techniques and strategies, to discover ways to perform at their personal best, to make their dreams happen in life and business.

Development of a Can Do or growth mindset is key to Gail’s coaching success. Through her coaching programmes Gail’s aim is to encourage a shift in thinking, with a key focus on accountability for sustained growth, which empowers small businesses to be brave, be bold, be remarkable and believe in themselves. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

Key points

  • Why you need to believe in yourself in business
  • The importance of a growth mindset and can-do attitude
  • 3 tips that will serve you well in business
  • Why accountability works
  • Two words that will really make your business soar

Find out more about Gail on her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/CanDoCoffeeClub and over on her website, www.gailmgibson.com and http://gailmgibson.com/business-coaching-programmes/can-do-coffee-club/

Join my free FB community to connect with me and other fabulous solopreneurs to help you Rock Your Fabulous Biz.

 

Rock Your Visibility Interview With Joanna Hennon

Today, I’m sharing a Rock Your Visibility Interview with you where I chat with Joanna Hennon of the No Limits! Event. Joanna shares actionable tips for being more visible in your business, and we talk about how live events can really help you in your business.

BP Memes

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Read Full Transcript below...

I hope you enjoyed today’s interview and have some great ideas to get you moving forward on your visibility The call to action for the interview (in case you thought I’d forgotten) is to choose one action point that you’ve written down and do it. When you take the action to get more visible that’s when the magic happens, so go and do it now, or make a note in your diary to do it this coming week. No excuses!

If you’re ready to rock your visibility then grab my free Visibility Quiz.

Rock Your Visibility Interview With Gail Gibson, Performance Coach

In this blog post, I will share an interview I hosted with Gail Gibson, Performance Coach, who gives some fab visibility tips that have helped grow her biz.

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Read Full Transcript below...

Today, I’m sharing a Rock Your Visibility Interview with you where I chat with Gail Gibson, Performance Coach, who shares visibility tips that have helped grow her biz.

I hope you enjoyed today’s interview and have some great ideas to get you moving forward on your visibility.  The call to action for the interview (in case you thought I’d forgotten) is to choose one action point that you’ve written down and do it. When you take the action to get more visible that’s when the magic happens, so go and do it now, or make a note in your diary to do it this coming week. No excuses!

If you’re ready to rock your visibility then grab my free Visibility Quiz.

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