Are You A Fraud?

In this blog post, I will share what you can do when you’re feeling like an imposter in your business.

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Have you ever had that feeling that one day someone is going to find you out for being the fraud you think you are? There’s a name for it – It’s called Imposter Syndrome.

Having suffered imposter syndrome when I was in HR, I know what it feels like, and it ain’t so pretty! I was being questioned as to why I did things the way I did, and my crazy little brain took that to mean I wasn’t doing it right. With that beautiful thing called hindsight, I now realise it was just my assistant’s way of checking her learning as she was training to do what I do. She wanted to understand why certain things happened in certain ways.

I started to question every single thing I did though, worried I was making serious mistakes, and that people would ‘find me out’. I still suffer with it on occasion in my business but now I recognise it for what it is. So what can you do about it? Here’s 3 ways to get you started on feeling in control again if it’s something you’re struggling with.

  • Recognise your achievements

How often do you sit down and notice how fabulous you are? If you’re an over-achiever, it’s likely you’ll move onto the next thing and the next without actually noticing all you’ve done.

Take one of my lovely friends for example. We hadn’t spoken for a while and she asked how things were going with my business. I told her that it’s going well, that I’ve been taking things a bit slower because we’re moving soon and that this year is all about maintaining my business, adding automation etc. She rightly challenged me on it, saying, “Umm, well I’ve seen you doing the Female Entrepreneur Association Bundle, written a book and lots of other things. You’ve just done two big things, not the usual twenty that you normally do.” Funny how people have a different perspective to you. When you’re an over-achiever, you just see yet another thing to achieve.

My story highlights how easy it is to forget what we have actually achieved. Maybe, like me, you recognise and celebrate your clients’ achievements, but when it comes to you, you’re onto the next thing quicker than the dust can settle, and the next, and the next. It’s so important to take time out to review how far you’ve come. I wrote a post and newsletter about this earlier this year. When you sit down to reflect on what you’ve achieved, you might be surprised at how far you’ve come.  

If you’re constantly feeling like you’re a fraud, often it’s because you have forgotten to recognise your achievements.

  • Get Curious

When your imposter syndrome shows up, get curious with it. Say to yourself things like:

  • “I wonder what’s driving this feeling”
  • “If I knew what had triggered it, what would it be?”
  • “I wonder why I feel this way”
  • “I wonder why this is showing up for me right now”

There will often be a trigger, understanding what the trigger is has really helped me.

Maybe you’re scrolling through your Facebook news feed and someone’s post pops up and you start to go into comparing their success to yours, or perhaps it’s that someone asked you a question that you didn’t feel qualified to answer.

The news feed thing is one that clients commonly tell me is a trigger for them. The thing is you may be doing what I call ‘comparing bananas to socks’, comparing yourself against someone that’s been in business for longer, has different experience to you, etc. Find out more about this in a post I dedicated to this topic of bananas and socks. https://www.rubymcguire.com/comparing-bananas-to-socks

  • Become The Expert You Think You’re Not

If you’re really struggling with trusting who you are, then do all that you can to build up your confidence in what you do.

Learn everything you can about your chosen subject. If there’s a way that you can get confirmation that what you’re doing is great, then do that. This could be in the form of getting assessed for coaching/mentoring for example, or it might be as simple as tracking all of your testimonials and great feedback that you receive. You can then go through it and remind yourself that you’re on the right track.

You may make mistakes. You’re human! It’s all good.

Listen to what people tell you about your skill set. Yes, that little broken record might tell you that you’re not great, but are there really that many people out there telling you that you’re great for the sake of it? Really??? I implore you to check in on that. They’re not all going to be liars, but you might be lying to yourself.

I could go on and on about this subject, because having been through it I get how much it can disempower you and fill you with dread every single day that today is the day when you’re going to be found out. But honestly, it’s a sign of your success and there’s a lot more people out there with it than you think, so you’re not on your own!

It’s time to rid of that mindset monkey that’s telling you that you’re going to get found out. What if you get found out for being the amazing business owner that you are?

Call To Action: Write down a list of your achievements over the past 3-6 months, year, 5 years, and then, celebrate them.

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here – http://bit.ly/PodVisQuiz. In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

Have You Eaten Your Frog?

In this blog post, I will share 8 ways that you stop procrastinating and get things done in your biz

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Procrastinating can be fun. Until it’s not! It can dent your confidence, where you keep putting things off and not achieving what you want to achieve.

I do think there are positives to procrastination too though. What I mean by that is sometimes you’ll be procrastinating because you don’t have all of the information you need, or the timing isn’t right etc. This blog isn’t about that! This is about not doing the things you’re meant to be doing. I’m going to share a few ways to beat your procrastination.

This is a little list intentionally. If you’re a procrastinator giving you yet more to read or learn isn’t going to help you crack the habit of procrastinating!

  1. Clear Your Energy Drainers

There are things in life that we tolerate, we let them build up.  It might be a blown light bulb, a shredding bin that needs emptying, some paperwork etc.  Each time we see this pile or list of jobs to do it can drain our energy. It also has quite a powerful impact on how we feel about ourselves.  If we can’t achieve the simplest of things then why would we even bother trying the bigger stuff?

Write a list of the top things you are putting off and work through them one by one.  Your confidence will grow as you achieve them.

  1. Don’t Over-Think It (Less Time Thinking, More Time Doing)

This is pretty straightforward – don’t over-think it. I’ve just finished the book, ‘The 5 Second Rule’ by Mel Robbins. She has a fabulously simple little strategy of counting down from 5 to 1 and on 1 doing that thing you’re putting off. It helps you get loads done! (Read her book for more info)

We spend so much time thinking about tasks that need doing and yet put them off.  Less thinking, more doing = more time doing the things you love.

  1. Eat Your Frog

As Brian Tracy says in his book of the same name. Get the big jobs (that one you know you’re totally going to put off) out of the way – it makes the day way more fun.

  1. Most Important Tasks

Set yourself up for success.

Set your top Most Important Tasks for the Day or MIT’s (I first learned this from Leonie Dawson, I think it might be from Stephen Covey originally, I’m not sure)

  1. Use the Pomodoro Technique (Check Out This Link For More Info)

Set a timer for 25 minutes to see what you can achieve. Break down the task (Pomodoro) (set a 15/25-minute timer, put in 100% effort on that task.  When the timer goes off, put it away – just take one step at a time).

  1. Don’t Wait For Perfect (I know, this one is tough if you’re a perfectionist)

Sometimes you just need to take a risk and put it out there. Remember mistakes are ok. There will also be mistakes that you make but it’s how you learn from those mistakes and what you do differently next time that will make all the difference.

Often the fear of it not being perfect can result in procrastination.  There is debate about this but I know certainly for me I put off things because by not putting them out there means I can’t get it wrong.  I’m a work in progress.

Choose a ‘have a go’ attitude.

 

  1. Give Yourself Permission

You need to give yourself permission to make mistakes. If someone else made that mistake we would encourage them to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and try again – we ‘give them permission’. Not so easy when it’s you, I know.

  • Give yourself permission to be you
  • Give yourself permission to change your mind and go in a completely different direction
  • Give yourself permission to be happy

If you have learnt something from the mistake and want to keep going that’s great – but conversely if it’s really making you unhappy then it’s ok to give yourself permission to change your mind!

  1. Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously
  • Lighten up!
  • Take responsibility for your own life
  • How can you bring more fun into your life?

Recommended Reading:

Call To Action: I’ve shared lots of different ways to stop procrastinating. Now go and eat that frog!

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here – http://bit.ly/PodVisQuiz. In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

Your Negativity Could Be Costing You Clients

In this blog post, I will share how you can take control of your life through choices you make.

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Have you ever come across the phrase ‘cause and effect’ when it comes to being in control of your life? It’s an NLP language pattern and could be something that’s costing you lots of time, energy and maybe even dreamie clients.

What’s it all about?

If you’re at ‘EFFECT’ someone/something else is in control of your life

  • One thing causes another (the effect)
  • You blame others for not succeeding
  • You come from a disempowered place because you believe you are reliant on situations / circumstances / people to effect change

If you’re at ‘CAUSE’ you’re in control of your life

  • You create your life
  • You take responsibility for your life and what happens in it
  • You come from a powerful place because you believe you can effect change

I know which place I’d rather be in. The one where I get to create my world, where I’m in control and taking responsibility for my life and what happens in it. It isn’t wishful thinking, it doesn’t mean things won’t go wrong, they probably will, that’s life, but it’s your reaction to them that counts.

Let’s use Facebook for visibility as an example. We all know the algorithms have changed and it’s been more challenging to reach our audiences. (Personally I’m super grateful to Facebook, it’s helped me connect with some amazing business owners, dreamie clients, and more importantly incredible friends).

So, if you’re at effect, you might say, “The algorithms are ruining my business, I might as well give up and get a job”.  However, if you’re at cause, you might say, “So the algorithms have changed, what can I do differently to boost my engagement?”

It’s easier to blame others though, isn’t it? We can pass on all responsibility to someone else, it’s easier.

It’s alright for ‘so and so’, they’ve got money to throw around to build their business, they get all the lucky breaks, there are just too many people out there doing what you do, it’s no wonder your business isn’t working, right?

WRONG.

If that’s your thinking then it’s time to turn it around.

Nobody is to blame if your business isn’t working, and that includes you! Blame doesn’t serve anybody, it will help you wallow, not take action. You can take responsibility for being where you are right now, for the decisions that you’ve made bringing you to this place in your business journey. Nobody is at fault. Don’t give your power away. Take ownership of your business and life.

If you want to be successful you want to be at cause – in control. You’re an owner of your business, now you get to be the owner of your life too! How cool is that?!

When you’re at cause you aren’t a victim, you’re a powerful business owner, who can choose what action to take to build your business.

Just think for a moment, how making the decision to live at cause will impact your business.

So you didn’t sign up that new client. You can decide that it doesn’t matter if there’s lots of business owners out there doing what you do. You could spend time figuring out what makes you different, whether your services were the right fit for that client and how you can make the next call go better.

Your launch didn’t go so well. You can choose to focus on what did go well. Maybe following everyone else’s blueprint doesn’t work for you. Maybe it’s time to pull together a different way of launching, one that feels easy and flows.

You didn’t hit the numbers you wanted to hit in your business this month. You get to decide how you can do things differently next month. You don’t need to stay in victim mode, feeling like the world is against you, you can feel instantly empowered, ready to take action and with a fire in your belly for your business, all by making the decision that you get to choose how you run your business (and life!)

You didn’t get all of the work done that you set out to do. That’s okay too. You can sit down and work out what really needed to be done, and choose to figure out a smarter way of working going forward, one where you set clearer goals and measurable targets.

If you want your business to be successful, DECIDE today for it to be so and then go out there and make it happen! You’ve got what it takes, now go show us what you’ve got!

Call To Action: Figure out if you’re at cause or effect. Let me know what decision you make from listening to/reading this post and what action you’ll take as a result.

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here – http://bit.ly/PodVisQuiz. In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

Are You Trying To Be Mary Poppins In Your Biz?

In this blog post, I will share why you don’t need to be a perfect business owner to be successful.

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You don’t need to be Mary Poppins, or practically perfect, and you probably don’t even have the time! You need to go with 80% perfect and that needs to be good enough, or you’ll never make any money in your business!

In what way are you a perfectionist? Perfectionism is all about having super high standards, the dictionary definition when I Googled it says this – “Refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.” Wow, so much pressure! If this is you, then it’s time to change. Life gets SO much more fun when you just loosen up a bit (I know!)

What’s going on?

Fear of judgement – Ironic really when the biggest person that’s judging you is you!

Fear of failure – you WILL make mistakes, fact! Make them, learn from them. It’s feedback, not failure.

Fear of ‘it’ not being good enough – Check the impact, ‘How much will this really matter in three months, six months, one year’s time?’

Imposter Syndrome – Where you think you’re going to be found out. You are – you’re going to be found out to be the fabulous person that you are.

I bet if you think about your family and best friends, you could share one thing that’s not perfect about them. If you can’t, then they’re probably perfectionists and hiding their weaknesses really well! We all have them.

A story about perfectionism

What expectations are you putting on yourself?

Let me share one of my personal experiences, which may help you realise that if you do have perfectionist traits you’re not on your own!

I went for my IIC & M (International Institute of Coaching & Mentoring) Accredited Senior Coach assessment. I was really nervous about it and procrastinated over it for about a year and a half. I finally did the assessment and I was stressed out all day waiting for the call to just be over and done with.

The main reason for my fear was that I’m not what you call a ‘purist’ coach, I don’t just coach, I bring in mentoring too, and for this assessment I had to stick to pure coaching.  I knew I’d passed as I was told on the call, and I got some great feedback.

I then just had to wait for the certificate and the actual grade to come through. When it did, I was really disappointed. The pass mark was 75%, I got 86%. I didn’t think I’d done that well. I completely discounted that I’d passed and was now an Accredited Senior Coach, all because of a silly number. My brain still says I should have got a higher grade but I have to remind my mindset monkey that it’s okay not to be perfect!

Are you perfect? No?? Why not??!!

I wrote about perfectionism in the chapters of a book I co-authored. Here’s an extract…

“Now you might not want to hear this. Perfectionism is also hiding a lack of confidence and the need to be liked.

Think about it for a moment…

  •      You don’t want to send out that letter with a typo on. Why? You don’t want people to think you’re unprofessional.
  •      You don’t want to put a post on social media that’s less than perfect. Why? Because you’re worried about what people think.
  •      You don’t start a new action/activity. Why? Because you think someone will do it better than you can.

We want people to like us, there is a need for approval and we think if we show any flaws then people won’t like us. Well, you know what you are NEVER going to get everyone to like you. NEVER. Some people will totally love and get you. Others might think you’re crazy or you might drive them crazy.

The tip to working through your perfectionism is you need to learn to let go.

For those of you that are perfectionists, I know, how on earth do you do that, it’s impossible, right?! Well, it can be done but it’s uncomfortable for a while.

Why is it so hard to do a less than perfect job, but so comfortable to attempt a better job?

Perfectionism doesn’t just affect your life, it may be really stifling your business/work too. I like things to be perfect, but I’m slowly learning that 80% can be good enough. My online coaching programmes might never have launched if I hadn’t chosen just to release them into the world and tweak as I go. People are taking steps in their businesses because I put myself out there; fear and faults, or not.

So what’s wrong with wanting to do a really good job or creating something perfect? Nothing. It’s when the judgement, analysis and criticism kick in that it becomes a problem. It’s when it stops us in our tracks, preventing us from moving forward that we need to recognise it’s holding us back.

Don’t let perfectionism ruin your life and/or work. Take some steps to deal with it.”

Become a work in progress like me!

Perfectionism is self-sabotaging behaviour and doesn’t serve you. It stops you from sharing your amazing gifts with the world. It’s time to let it go and be imperfectly perfect.

Call To Action: This week I want you to take some imperfect action

Let’s say;

  •      You have drafted some wording for a post, then use it – post it
  •      You might have a blog post sitting on your desktop, finish and publish it
  •      You might be waiting to get the right video equipment or the perfect background for your Facebook Live – just do it already. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Check out mine, I umm, ahhh, waffle and forget what I want to say. It’s all okay, don’t let perfectionism hold you back
  •      You might not be talking to people about what you do because your elevator pitch isn’t perfect – just share your message
  •      You might not be doing business because you don’t have a website. It’s all nonsense! One of my past mentors has been in business for 20 years and still doesn’t have a website. She gets clients. Do NOT let this kind of thing hold you back

You KNOW what it is you’re putting off. Just do it.

No more excuses. THIS WEEK!

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here – http://bit.ly/PodVisQuiz. In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

Why You Need To Have A Can-Do Attitude In Your Business, With Gail Gibson

In today’s episode, I will be talking to Gail Gibson about having a can-do attitude and growth mindset. Gail is an award-winning business performance coach who enables small businesses, through the teaching of effective tools, techniques and strategies, to discover ways to perform at their personal best, to make their dreams happen in life and business.

Development of a Can Do or growth mindset is key to Gail’s coaching success. Through her coaching programmes Gail’s aim is to encourage a shift in thinking, with a key focus on accountability for sustained growth, which empowers small businesses to be brave, be bold, be remarkable and believe in themselves. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

Key points

  • Why you need to believe in yourself in business
  • The importance of a growth mindset and can-do attitude
  • 3 tips that will serve you well in business
  • Why accountability works
  • Two words that will really make your business soar

Find out more about Gail on her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/CanDoCoffeeClub and over on her website, www.gailmgibson.com and http://gailmgibson.com/business-coaching-programmes/can-do-coffee-club/

Join my free FB community to connect with me and other fabulous solopreneurs to help you Rock Your Fabulous Biz.

 

Calling You Out On Your Visibility Excuses (and Mine!)

In this blog post, I’m going to call you out on your visibility excuses and share 3 ways to work through the fear of being visible.

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Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet for the past few weeks. I don’t know about you, but sometimes it can be challenging constantly coming up with new content.

I have all the tips and tricks in the book when it comes to creating content, but I’m also a great believer that you should only share when you have something good to share.

If it’s not happening, then the world won’t end if you don’t share a blog post for a couple of weeks. That’s my view anyway.

Now that’s not saying to use this as an excuse for not creating content at all because that’s not how consistency works when it comes to being visible. I’ve still been visible in other places, just not so much with my podcast/blog.

So, hi. It’s good to be here.

What do I want to share with you today?

I want to talk about three things you need to know about making excuses about being visible in your business.

  1. Don’t wait for the perfect time to be visible, there isn’t one!

Last week I posted a Facebook Live where my fringe was waaaay too long because I was waiting to go to my hairdressers to get it cut. I could have used that as an excuse not to post a video, but I didn’t. I decided it was important to share my message about visibility.

There can be 101 reasons why you ‘can’t be visible’, and by that can’t I mean, the excuses you can make not to be visible. Just get over yourself and share your message. People want to hear from you. So what if you’re not perfect, there is no such thing as perfection. It’s not even about you, it’s about how you can help people.

Takeaway: Do not use perfection as an excuse not to be visible! 

  1. Stop lurking, just be brave and take a small action step

I have a lot of people in my Facebook group, Rock Your Fabulous Biz, and each week I have a Stop Lurking Day where I get people in there to chat, share something, do a video – to basically show up.

Last week I decided to run a pop-up mini visibility challenge, getting people to do a short video answering 4 simple questions. The questions were covering things like what did you do in your first job, to what you’re proud of and then finishing with dreamie clients and why we should work with you. It went down really well.

Some people did FB Lives that had never done them before, some came up with reasons why they couldn’t do it and that’s okay.

Sometimes we genuinely think we can’t do stuff. We tell ourselves we don’t have time, the peace and quiet we need, the kids are up or there’s dinner to cook or XYZ.

We need to challenge our thinking. Are these real reasons, or are they just excuses?

We have to CHOOSE to make the time for this kind of thing.

The feeling you get when you come out the other side having stepped up your visibility is really amazing! It’s empowering and it makes you feel on top of the world.

Takeaway: Choose to be visible, choose for your message to be bigger than your fear.

That’s how you help people and make a bigger difference in the world.

  1. Tell yourself you’re only talking to one person

I was invited to be part of a #hotseat in Entrepreneurs Kaffeklatch group last week. I had a chat with Angie who runs the group and she walked me through the technology side of things so we were ready to go live at the time of the call.

She casually dropped into conversation that we could share the link to the live in a few groups and that she was going to be sharing it with one group that had 5k+ people. My mind went into overdrive for a moment.

Woah, how many? Adding in her group, my biz page, my group that made a potential 6.5k+ audience live – watching us! Do you think I was a teeny bit nervous – hell yeah! But that’s okay, I just decided to forget who may or may not be watching.

(Let’s be honest, the reality was probably about 20 people watching in the end)

So what to do? I focused only on Angie and having a fun conversation with her, and guess what – I didn’t die, the world didn’t end, and it was really great fun.

So next time you find yourself making excuses, remember these three things:

  1. There is no perfect time to get visible, just do it already
  2. Be brave and take a small action step, stop lurking
  3. Tell yourself you’re just talking to one person

My mini challenge to you is to step up your visibility. Come and join my Facebook Group, Rock Your Fabulous Biz, and do a little video introducing yourself to the group.

#NoExcuses

Do you feel exposed in your business? (What I learned about fear from a mandala)

Do you feel exposed in your business? In today’s post, I’m sharing what I learned about fear from a mandala. What I learned can help you show up more in your business. No more playing it small (Be warned, this is a longer post than normal)

This past weekend I was a speaker at an event in Brussels.  We’d had a busy day and a beautiful lady called Tanya Arler, Spiritual Teacher and Inspirational Speaker, asked if we’d like to join her in the evening to do a mandala. She said she’d share a little message around what it means.  If you don’t know what a mandala is, it’s basically a circular drawing. In spiritual circles (excuse the pun) it can be a way to get a message about what your soul wants. Now don’t shoot me down in flames if that’s not a great description, it’s just how I like to describe it!

I am really creative, so couldn’t wait. We all sat around a table and were asked to set an intention of one question that we’d like answered.

One Question I Wanted Answered

Mine was “What do I need to do/know to make my business explode so that I can serve thousands of people and help them to be fabulous in their businesses?”

Once we’d set our intention, we were given the task of drawing a circle by tracing around a plate, and then colour it in.

Here’s the finished mandala, what I’m sharing will make more sense when you can see it!

So I did my bit of doodling in the middle. I started off doing a bit of Zentangle*, which is a structured type of pattern, then realised that was going to take forever so I drew some wiggly lines that I then filled in with bits of colour. I added a couple of random stripey shapes and lots of dots. I finally added some yellow ‘flames’ if you like, around the inside of the circle, leaning at an angle around the edge of the circle into the centre. (See the Zentangle image I drew below so you know what I mean when I say Zentangle)

Structure & Free-Flow

The lovely Tanya came around and gave some feedback. She checked my question and said that I had a bit of structure (that Zentangle bit at the beginning)  I’d realised that was a bit too much like hard work and I then went into more free-flowing. If you know me, that’s EXACTLY what I’m like. I’m a Virgo, I like structure, but I want fun so I pull myself out of the super structure to bring more flow. So far, so good. Nothing to fear so far, huh?

Staying Inside My Comfort Zone

We talked about this explosion I wanted in my business, and how it was interesting that I hadn’t gone outside of the circle. I’d also contained my yellow (my explosion if you like) on the inside! What did this mean? Well, it meant that I was super excited about my business, and was exploding but not sharing enough in the outside world. Oh, okay, if you say so. I thought I was, but maybe not then. The dots meant I was in rhythm with life, which I kinda think I am.

So, I had to go back to the picture and add in yet more colour/detail which I did. I sat back and looked at my picture. Good, that was fun, I thought.

And ENORMOUS fear kicked in!

So my next task was to extend the yellow from the spiral in the centre all the way out to the edges of my rays and beyond. Easy, right?

No, not freakin’ easy at all. I literally could not push my yellow pencil past the boundary of the circle to go into my first ray. I felt SO much fear, it was incredible. How can it feel so scary to move a pencil past a pencil line on a piece of paper? This was getting really weird now. I kept taking deep breaths and telling myself, “It’s okay, I can do this, I’ve got this” and then the fear would start to dissipate slightly before going onto the next ray and the next.

WOW! I felt panic and fear in my chest, I could feel myself welling up as I worked my way around the rays. One of the other speakers sitting opposite me, who’s intuitive, said she could feel the fear that was coming up for me.

Now I could understand it if I was doing something really scary, but let’s get it in perspective, this was a yellow pencil and a piece of paper! SO bizarre! What I learned was that the circle was my comfort zone so while I thought I was pushing through my comfort zones, it wasn’t to this degree. It wasn’t to the degree that I need to push through if I want to explode my business and help thousands of people.

“So do you really want to explode your business, even though it’s going to feel this scary?”

Tanya then asked me, “So do you really want to explode your business, even though it’s going to feel this scary?” Yes, I said, I want to help thousands of people. Okay, so I kept going.

Eventually, I got all the way around the circle, you’ll be pleased to know, and I finished my rays. (All with Tanya repeatedly asking me if I really wanted to explode my business) Even writing this now, I can feel the fear rising again about what action I need to take to really get my business visible so I can help thousands. Wow!

All good, I made it and felt better. She then said the spiral didn’t feel like it was big enough, she felt it needed to extend all the way out to the edge of the paper. This bit was about expansion, about constantly uplevelling and growing in order to be of service, not going round in circles but each time going further and further out into and beyond my comfort zone I guess. I could cope with that, it felt progressive which was good.

There will be chaos in your business – it’s okay

Next up, I needed to add colour, I wanted green which is apparently a spiritual colour so that felt good. I added green around the edges of my rays and sat back and looked at it. Tanya and another lady asked what I thought of it. I said I didn’t like it, it annoyed me. Tanya asked why it annoyed me. I replied that it wasn’t pretty, it felt chaotic and messy. I like my pictures to flow and have structure (funny that, based on what I shared earlier!) She said that if I want to explode my business, then I need to accept that there will be times when it’s messy and chaotic and I have to think about how I can bring it back into something more ordered. I might not like how it looks, but that’s okay.

Lastly, I needed to add in something else, so I added some blue dots all the way around the edge, that bit felt exciting somehow and I felt my picture was done. Messy, and ugly, but done! 

So what has all of this got to do with you?

Stop playing small – it’s time to show up like you mean it!

Well, I learned that it doesn’t serve people by you playing small, that while you might be pushing through your comfort zones there’s a limit and that perceived limit may be stopping you from helping thousands of people.

I learned that business might get messy, and let’s be honest, that’s the reality of being in business, it can feel chaotic at times. I also learned that it’s okay if you need to take a step back, it’s not all about pushing forward all the time. My biggest lesson was that while I thought I was being brave, I actually haven’t even touched the surface of how brave I need to be to help more people. Are you ready to be that brave? That’s really scary for me to be honest. I’m an introvert. I’m okay with stepping up but then I need a bit of a lie-down. Deep breathing might become the new go-to tool for getting through it.

I remember when I was single after going through my divorce, people would try and match-make me with guys that weren’t quite right and I said then, as I say now in my business, “I won’t settle, I know what I want and I’m prepared to wait for that and do what it takes to get the perfect person for me.” I am now going to take that into my business too, no settling, it’s time for us to step up even more as leaders and to grow our tribes so that we can have an even bigger impact.

I know, the more people I can help, the more I can work on my homeless project I want to do. It’s time to make our messages bigger than our fears! Join me in becoming Fearless Visibility Divas!

If you want to connect with the lovely Tanya, which you totally should because she really is AMAZING, you can sign up to her blog, and connect with her on her website and/or Facebook page. I’m meeting up with her again in July and can’t wait for instalment 2!

PS. If you like the idea of trying out Zentangles for yourself, then you’ll love Pinterest. It’s fabulous for both personal and business use. In fact, I’m running a 3-day live experience on attracting beautiful dreamie clients into your business next week, starting Tuesday 6 April. Come and join me – Pinterest Rocks Live. It’s going to be FAB! What’s amazing about Pinterest is it’s a free and fun platform to work on – what’s not to like?!

Stop Thinking Yourself Into A Funk

In this blog post, I’m going to share 3 things you can do to feel more confident.

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Have you ever sat there and thought I know what I want to achieve, but I just don’t know if I can, or how I can?

I was in a group the other day and one of the girls posted a question about which camp you fell into – a) or b), where a) was you weren’t feeling confident in what you’re doing and b) you have rock solid confidence in what you’re doing. (I’m heavily summarizing the A’s and B’s here by the way!)

I said I had rock solid confidence now in what I’m doing, but it hasn’t always been like that. I’m not saying I’m perfect, there are days when I say to myself “Woah, what am I doing setting myself such big goals?” And then I remind myself that if you want to achieve big things, you have to set yourself big dreams and goals. Even if you only get halfway there, you’re better off than if you never set them at all.

When I answered that I was in the B camp (I have a rock solid belief in what I do), she asked me what I’d done to achieve that. I thought about it and realised it’s all down to the work I’ve done on myself over the past 2 years.

It all comes down to mindset.

It got me thinking. What are the things you have to do to feel more confident.

  1. Make a decision to believe you’ve got this

You might wake up in the morning thinking you’re never going to pull this whole thing off. It’s normal to doubt yourself from time to time.

It’s what you do after having that thought that counts. You can choose to go into a big funk, and spend the rest of the day moping around, or you can choose to do something about it, and get yourself into a better place.

Remember, what you’re putting out there will come back to you in one form or another, you know – those bad moods that start rubbing off on everyone else – yeah that!

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  1. Choose the right mindset

Carol Dweck, ‘one of the world’s leading researchers in the fields of personality, social psychology and developmental psychology’, talks about a Fixed Mindset and a Growth Mindset in her book called Mindset. She explains the difference between them like this…

“Believing that your qualities are carved in stone – The fixed mindset creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. If you only have a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character, well, then you’d better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. It simply wouldn’t do to look or feel deficient in these most basic characteristics.”

Ever felt like that? That you have to do your absolute best or you won’t look good?! It’s one of those things that comes up a lot when it comes to being visible.

In contrast, she says “the growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way – in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests or temperaments – everyone can change and grow through application and experience.”

How freaking fabulous is that?!

We get to choose! Fixed or growth. Which one are you choosing right now?

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Carol said that for 20 years her research has shown that “the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value.”

So, in a nutshell a fixed mindset will keep you stuck, there is no room for possibility.

A growth mindset will help you to change and grow, the possibilities are endless.

Okay, so there’s a lot of choice stuff going on here, isn’t there? Exactly, YOU get to choose what you want. You can choose to lack confidence, or you can choose to start working on your mindset and believe anything is possible.

  1. Get Yourself Out Of That Funk

You often read all of this stuff about ‘working on your mindset’, but what does it even mean?! Essentially, in my world anyway, it’s about getting your thoughts in the right place, so that instead of coming from a place of negativity you’re coming from a place of empowerment and I’d even go so far as excitement. Who doesn’t want to feel empowered and excited about life?

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But HOW do you get yourself into a better mindset? Here’s a few tried and tested ways that work:

  • Write down all of the things you’re grateful for right now, it’s an instant mood booster.
  • Write down all of your fears and see them for what they are. They are simply thoughts that don’t serve you. Thoughts that hold you back. Thoughts that make you a lesser person than you actually are. You can choose to believe in them, or you can choose to say I might be feeling this way right now, but from now I’m choosing to believe that x, y, z is possible instead.
  • Listen to a positive audio, watch an inspiring YouTube video or read something motivating. My latest thing is afformations, which are similar to affirmations (I didn’t get the name wrong) They originate from Noah St.John and basically are affirmations that are turned into a question, so instead of I am successful in business (which you might find a bit unbelievable if you have evidence to the contrary) you’d change it to ‘Why am I so successful in business?’ It sends your brain on a search for the answer to the question. Powerful stuff.
  • Put on your favourite playlist and let the music lift your spirits
  • Meditate – daily meditation makes SUCH a huge difference to your mindset. Note the word ‘daily’. I laugh as I write this because I set the intention to do meditation every single day last year, and after I set the intention I was the worst I’d ever been at it. It was because I hadn’t really made the decision to do it, but thought I ‘should’ do it. As the year went on it became a daily habit and something I now just wouldn’t want to stop

What works for one doesn’t work for everyone. You’ll have your own ways of boosting your mood so do those things that shake you out of your funk instead. If you find this challenging (I know I used to), write a list of all of the things that help you feel better and then you have your ‘go-to’ for those days when it’s not quite happening.

I love using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) aka Tapping for this, it’s such a quick way to lift your energy and put you in a different place.

Remember, you don’t always need to know the ‘how’. You just need to know that whatever you want is possible, IF you put your mind to it and take action. You can figure the ‘how’ out along the way. Have a loose plan and then you can tweak and adapt as you go.

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Here’s a quick recap:

  1. Make a decision to believe you’ve got this
  2. Choose the right mindset
  3. Get Yourself Out Of That Funk

Please do work on that mindset! That’s your call to action this week!

3 Top Fear Busting Strategies

In this blog post, I’m going to share how fear can be an energy drainer and 3 top fear busting strategies to help you in your business.

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When I first started learning about coaching, I came across an ‘Energy Drainers’ exercise, where you had to write down all the things that were draining your energy, so it might be business related, like a job that you’re procrastinating on, or personal like a dripping tap for example.

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What I’ve learned over time is that fear can also drain your energy – BIG time. I’m always banging on about how you should work on your mindset to help you overcome any blocks in being visible, and it’s true.

Mindset is a MASSIVE part of being successful. If you’ve got things that are standing in your way and holding you back then you need to kick them to the kerb.

It sounds so simple but it’s not always that easy. It may be that like me, you’re an introvert, so showing up can sometimes feel like hard work. I can be super visible for a while, working through any fears that show up and then I need to retreat for a bit to recover some of my energy. Perhaps you have imposter syndrome, where you think that you’re not as good as you actually are, and are going to be ‘found out’ one day. You will be, you’ll be found out to be the fabulous business owner that you are!

I’ve been doing lots of research lately with potential ideal clients to find out what really holds them back in business, and the number 1 thing is fear. They are afraid.

Afraid of not being good enough.

Afraid of being ‘found out’ as a fraud (despite being incredible at what they do!)

Afraid of being criticised if they do share content.

Afraid of being compared to others.

Afraid they don’t have enough experience, or enough to say, or the right things to say.

So much fear.

Fear doesn’t have to run the show. You get to choose what you do with it.

Here’s 3 ways that you can bust your fears:

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  1. Take action 

This is the fastest way to smash through your fears. Brave action ideally, but any action is a step in the right direction. Set an intention of what you’re going to do, declare it to someone else (personally I think this REALLY helps) – when you know someone is going to hold you accountable and take no excuses off you, then it’s way more likely that you’ll take action. Go out there and do it.

In the film, We Bought A Zoo, Matt Damon says to his son, “Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery, and I promise you something great will come of it.”

How could you show insane courage for just 20 seconds?

  1. Sit with your fear

I know! I never thought that phrase would come out of my mouth either! I know for me, anything about feelings is a bit uncomfortable. If there’s a way I can logically work out a problem, that would totally be my go-to plan rather than sit and ‘feel’ into it, but actually it’s a great thing to learn how to do. Yes, my lovely mentors, I have been listening!

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Feelings are there for a reason, they’re a guide to help us move forward.  What are you really scared of? If you dig deep, you’ll realise it isn’t always what you think.

Instead of stressing about why it’s coming up, or getting yourself tied up in knots like a pretzel, be a witness of your fear. Say to yourself, “Isn’t it interesting that I feel fearful about xxx, I wonder what is it about xxx that’s making me feel fearful.” Notice what comes up when you do this exercise. You could journal the ideas to get even more clarity.

I’m sure you’ll have heard of the acronym of FEAR being used as False Evidence Appearing Real. We might be basing our fears around previous ‘evidence’ of what’s happened, but how do we even know that it will play out in the same way. What if circumstances have changed since the last time? What if we have changed? Start to gather evidence of things that have gone really well when you’ve ‘put yourself out there’, record those things that you’ve conquered over time.

  1. Focus on the here and now

I was talking in my Fearless Visibility Diva group just last week about being in the here and now. I think it was Danielle Laporte that said if we could just focus on the here and now then there is no need for fear because you’re not in the past or the future so there is literally nothing to fear. How can you stay focused in the moment?

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Maybe you’re just about to post a message in a group, and your fear is rearing its ugly head, shouting to you that it won’t be good enough, that what you want to say is silly. What if instead of running that story you create a whole new one, where you visualise yourself being successful? Step into the confident version of you that creates amazing posts and is a real inspiration to others.

Don’t let fear stop you in business. Pushing through comfort zones is all part of being a business owner. Find ways to move through fear so that it doesn’t cost you missed opportunities/business.

If you want some support come and join my fabulous 6-week programme, Fearless Visibility Diva. Learn how to feel more confident being visible with strategies and tools to work on your fear, worry, self-doubt, while taking action on your business. Find out more here.. www.bit.ly/FearlessVisDiva.

Call to Action: Your call to action this week is to choose one of the three tips and make it work for you – Take action, sit with your fear or focus on the here and now. Which one will you choose? Let me know how it works out for you 🙂

Is Indecision Killing Your Business?

Choice can really stop us in being visible. In this blog post, I’m going to share a strategy to help you overcome your indecision.

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Choice is an amazing thing, we can order twenty different types of coffee when we go out, we can have pay as you go mobiles, or monthly contracts, we can have Webinar Jam or Google Hangout, or Fuze and Zoom to run our businesses online, but sometimes it’s just all too overwhelming.

When it comes to being visible, choices can give us yet another reason to take no action.

Do we need this camera or that camera for our video? Should we focus on Twitter or Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn? What about local networking meetings? Aaargh – so much to do, so little time and we’re just making it harder on ourselves by wanting to do everything and ending up doing nothing.

So what do you do? There IS amazing stuff out there, but as a business owner, we have SO many hats – marketing person, branding person, sales person, blog post writer, newsletter writer and soooo much more.

Well with regards to where to hang out on social media to attract your ideal clients, that’s quite simple. Go where your ideal clients are. I know that sounds super easy, but seriously if you don’t know who they are and where they hang out make it your goal to find out.

Focus on one place at a time too, that way you can test if your strategy is working. If it’s not you can try something different. It’s much easier to limit your choices when you have some kind of way to measure the outcomes. Test, test and test some more.

If you’re finding it difficult to limit yourself to just one thing then choose a list of 2-3 choices, and then you can pick from that list.

Choose One Area of Viz #Focus

It’s the same with our clients. We can offer way too many choices of packages and ways to work with us that it becomes overwhelming. I know I’m super guilty of this one and have to keep checking in with myself on it. I’m always looking at ways to streamline what I offer so that it doesn’t become confusing. (I’m a work in progress on that one).

When working with a client, instead of offering four ways to work with them offer 2 ways, 3 max. That way you aren’t creating overwhelm for them in the decision-making process and they then end up not working with you because they are confused as to what it is you actually do.

Figure out how you can measure the choices that you have in front of you. Perhaps one has a direct or indirect cost element to it in terms of time, energy or money for example.

The thing that I’ve learned recently is that having just ONE single thing to focus on at any one time is so much easier to manage than having twenty things. It makes sense, but we have to take the steps to get there, to eliminate so much choice and make a decision.

One thing that we work on in my Rock Your Visibility Bootcamp is figuring out what your business model is. If you’ve not done any work on business models then basically it covers 9 specific areas of business – including things like who your customers are, what you’re going to offer, what your key activities in your business will be etc. etc.Be Clear On Biz Direction #Vision

It’s much easier to make a decision when you are clear on the direction your business is going in. Some opportunities that come your way will take you nearer to where you want to be, and some will take you further away, down an unknown path or worse a rabbit hole! When you know your business model, it’s really easy to make informed decisions. You simply check in and ask yourself whether this particular piece of content/work/opportunity fits your business model. If it doesn’t, move on. If it does, go for it!

I used to be a terrible decision maker. I can still have my moments of indecision but with my business model in place, it’s much easier to keep my focus now. That and I have a fantastic group of business friends who help me figure things out.

One strategy I love that I learnt in my Coaching diploma was the IDA Formula – you can use it to help you whenever the self-doubt or uncertainty creeps in.

INTENTION – DECISION – ACTION

So let’s break it down,

INTENTION

What do you intend to happen?  What do you want to happen? Here’s an example;

  • ‘I want to get new clients’
DECISION

Once you’ve written down your answer decide how you will change your behaviour

  • Should I keep these current clients or is it time to work with a different group of people? ‘I know I keep telling myself to stay where I am but I’m not happy and just keep moaning about it, so I will stop telling myself that it’s paying the bills and go out and start to build my business that suits me’ (Great strategy by the way as there may be someone that is desperate for your current clients – give someone the opportunity to try it and you move on!)

ACTION

Now change your behaviour by acting differently

  • ‘I will sit down with pen and paper and think about what I do want to do and then start a marketing plan for attracting new clients

What happens if you make the wrong decision?  So what?!!  As some of my  clients will tell you one of my sayings is ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’  Keep asking yourself that question and you will realise that sometimes the hardest part is making the decision to make a decision!!

The more you make decisions, whether it’s just a choice of coffee when you’re out, or what webinar software to buy, the more you will kick your indecision into touch!

Call to action this week: Check your to do list for one thing you need to make a decision on and make that decision! Job done!

I’d love you to share what decisions you’re faced with / making.

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