Be The Queen With Knees Knocking, And Still Take Action! (Fear Is Okay!)

In this blog post, I will share to be the Queen with knees knocking, and still take action.

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So you’ve decided to step up as a Queen. Hooray!

Now comes the tough bit!

Are your knees knocking underneath that beautiful Queen’s dress you’re wearing?! I get it, I feel like that too, a lot of the time actually.

BUT, you cannot let fear hold you back.

When you’re a Queen you will naturally have obstacles to overcome, it’s kind of one of the things that comes as part of the whole package of being a business owner.

If you want to grow your Queendom though, you’ve got to figure out how to overcome those obstacles, fear or not.

You’re a Queen – you don’t let obstacles get in your way. You know you have the power to work through your challenges, and any fears that might be holding you back.

There is always more than one way to achieve the success you desire as a Queen. I can bet there have been many, many obstacles you’ve overcome over the years. You can draw on that strength to overcome challenges you’re facing right now and in the future.

You can shatter any limiting beliefs with your sceptre, and get that crown of yours shining again in no time!

Yes, you may have to get help to get creative to come up with a plan, but it’s all possible. I believe that when things are meant to be then everything will feel like it’s in alignment. If you’re hitting obstacle after obstacle, then it might be time to reflect on whether you need a different battle plan.

Sometimes those challenges and detours can be the best thing ever in your business, as they help you to think creatively.

Being a Queen means learning from repeated ‘failures’, disappointments and lessons, but often that’s when the magic happens! You reflect, learn and find other fabulous ways to grow your business.

Very often, the biggest fear in your business is the one around bringing in money. You worry that you don’t have the sales skills to help convert clients, you worry that you won’t be able to pay your bills, you worry that you don’t have the services people want to pay for, the list goes on.

One of the skills that really helped me work through my money blocks, and still does, is EDT, Emotional Dowsing Technique. It doesn’t matter what level of business you’re at, we all have more money blocks that can come up from time to time that need clearing. With money blocks, often fear is attached.

I recently ran some EDT Money Block sessions, and it was amazing what came up for clients. Blocks that were hidden that they didn’t even know they had. Once they were cleared, the clients and money started to flow.

Sometimes I know it can feel like you’re pushing water uphill, and nobody is listening to you. Keep singing your song, keep telling people about what you do, keep pushing through that fear. The consistency pays off. And remember to always bring a bit of fun into your biz, it’s the best way to save your sanity!

Here’s three simple strategies to help you work through your fear:

  1. Write down what you’re feeling fearful about

    Let’s work through some of the stories you might be telling yourself about your biz right now. Here’s a few common statements my clients share with me:

    • “I have to work really hard to be successful.”
    • “It’s challenging getting new clients.”
    • “I find technology really frustrating.”
    • “Sales conversations are awkward.”
    • “I never have enough time to do what I want, or need to do.”
    • “I take two steps forward and one back.”
    On their own, these statements don’t seem that powerful, but when you attach them to a story that’s fearful, which might lead to things like:

    • “I won’t be able to pay my mortgage.”
    • “I won’t have time to spend with my family.”
    • “People will judge me”,
    you can see how it can make you feel fearful.

    Just saying these statements out loud can remove some of the power the fear has over you, and you can then start to explore ways of moving through it.

  2. Challenge Your Fear With Some Questions

    Taking this a step further, ask yourself a few questions around what you’ve put down. Challenge your thinking.

    • Is it true?
    • What evidence do you have around that fear?
    • What could you learn that might make this all seem easier?
    • Who could support you?
    • What would be a better way of thinking about this, that would empower you rather than hold you back?
  3. Use the Circle of Control/Influence

    Consider using Stephen Covey’s Circle of Control or Influence. If you haven’t heard of it, think of an archery target with three circles. The central circle – the bullseye, and the two outer circles.

    In circle one, the bullseye, you list all of the things that are within your control.

    In circle two, you list all of the things that you can influence.

    In circle three, the outer circle, you list all of the things that you can’t control.

    This is such a simple, yet amazing little tool for helping you to work through your fear. When you place your different areas of concern in the circles, you will be able to release some of the fear as you will realise there are only certain things within your control that you can actually manage or influence.

    So, let’s get that crown shining again. Clear the fear in your business, so that you can run your Queendom with confidence.

    Be the Queen with knees knocking, and still take action, knowing that fear is absolutely okay. On a side note, I have been in the place where I’ve literally had my knees knocking in a presentation when I was doing my HR degree, so when I talk about knees knocking I mean literally and figuratively.

    Before I go, let’s do a quick recap to shift that fear: 

    1. Write down what you’re feeling fearful about
    2. Challenge your fear with some questions
    3. Use the circle of control/influence to guide you

PS. If you want to clear your fear, and other limiting beliefs around your business, while having some fun obviously, book a Dolly Magic Session (which is an EDT Session) with me. My clients are getting some amazing results and feeling on top of the world, just like the Queens they were born to be.

Until next time, ciao for now!

If you’d like to do some money clearing, check out my Dolly Magic Sessions

Join my free FB community to connect with me and other fabulous solopreneurs to help you Rock Your Fabulous Biz.

What Are Your Business Weaknesses?

In today’s blog post, I will share how it’s important to check in on your business weaknesses if you want to build a strong business.

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We often talk about strengths in business, “play to your strengths”, “figure out what you’re good at”, “combine your strengths with what you’re passionate about in business and then everything will be easier’. They’re all true, but what about your business weaknesses though? Some weaker areas of your business can be outsourced and then there are some that you either need to understand before you outsource them, or you just need to know them yourself.

Maybe you’re someone that could list 10-20 weaknesses in your business right now, where you’ve got a long list of limiting beliefs, but which weaknesses are real and could do with addressing?

Let’s take one of mine that I’ve been working on lately. Finances in my business. At the beginning of this year I did Todd Herman’s 90-Day Year, and as part of the programme you have to do a review of different areas of your business. I knew without answering any questions where I’d stand on the financials. I’d get my accounts done on time, I had an idea in my head of where my main income streams come from, but there was no way I could tell you exact numbers around specific marketing strategies that were working, not working.

We can feel scared of our weaknesses. I was definitely an ostrich when it came to my numbers. Like anything though, you can’t improve something that you have no real awareness of. The first step is understanding your areas of weakness, then you can set some plans in place to overcome them. I’ve always found writing much easier than number crunching. I can do it. Hey, I managed some big budgets in my HR days, but I have to think much harder when it comes to doing the numbers. It doesn’t come naturally to me.

A few areas that come up with my clients are not having clarity around their marketing message, for some it’s being afraid of the technology around doing a video, or knowing how to write a blog post. For some, like me, it’s looking at the numbers. Maybe it’s being afraid of social media and not knowing what to write.

Once you are aware of your weaknesses, you can get help with them. You can develop the skill set you need to move yourself and your business forward. If someone mentions something to you and it triggers you then it’s worth considering what it is about that thing that triggers you.

Here’s a few quick tips to help you:

  • Write down areas of your business that you feel weak in (areas that challenge you) Ones that make you want to run away and hide, in the hope that they will go away if you don’t talk about them
  • Taking each area in turn, do a mini review
  • Do you need to understand this yourself?
      • If ‘yes’ – then how can you learn more about it? How can you become proficient in this area? (i.e. take a course, read a book, practice, get some coaching/mentoring – I’m waving if you need support!
      • ‘If ‘no’ – then who could take on this aspect of your business for you? (i.e. outsource it)
  • If you don’t develop this area, will it be an issue for your business? (as in if you keep burying your head in the sand will it become an issue?)
    • If yes, what’s the impact of doing nothing?
    • On a scale of 1-10, where 10 is ‘this is really urgent’ and 1 is ‘I can chill about this’, how quickly does it need addressing?

Now you have awareness around each of these different areas, prioritise your list and ask what action do you need to take. Here’s a working example:

  • I have no idea how to schedule social media. It’s taking up loads of time loading it manually every day
  • I’d like some control over it, so I still want to create my own content but I’d love some help scheduling as that’s the bit I don’t find easy
  • If I don’t get my content scheduled, and keep hiding away from doing it, then I could be losing potential clients. It’s costing me money
  • On a scale of 1-10 it’s a 7. I’ve already had people saying that I’m not consistent with my social media and they ended up going with other businesses to get support, so it needs to be a priority now. Ideally I want to get it sorted this month
  • I will speak to 3 different freelancers that do social media scheduling and get 3 quotes. I’ll also pull together a plan of my content so that I know what days/times I want content scheduled, and which platforms I want to use

Remember, you don’t need to hide from your weaknesses in your business. Just get the information and then work on how to make improvements. When you’re in the corporate world you have departments that manage the different aspects of business. You can’t be great at all things, so give yourself a break, but you do still need to know what impact your weaknesses might be having in general.

Hiding your head in the sand won’t help!

So, in case you wondered what I ended up doing around my ‘money ostrich’. I worked with a lovely 90-day Coach, Sara Roach-Lewis, who helped me to put in some simple systems in place to be more money savvy. I now have set days that I work on my finances. Am I perfect?  Ummm that would be a no, I have a looooong way to go, but now I am able to make much better informed decisions because I have the data to back it all up. I also feel just a teeny, tiny bit more growed up now too!

Your call to action: Review your weaknesses in your business and put a plan in place to turn them into strengths, or at the very least put a plan in place to outsource the areas you’re not so good at.

Want to know more about outsourcing? Read an article I wrote about it here.

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here – In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

Are You Trying To Be Mary Poppins In Your Biz?

In this blog post, I will share why you don’t need to be a perfect business owner to be successful.

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You don’t need to be Mary Poppins, or practically perfect, and you probably don’t even have the time! You need to go with 80% perfect and that needs to be good enough, or you’ll never make any money in your business!

In what way are you a perfectionist? Perfectionism is all about having super high standards, the dictionary definition when I Googled it says this – “Refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.” Wow, so much pressure! If this is you, then it’s time to change. Life gets SO much more fun when you just loosen up a bit (I know!)

What’s going on?

Fear of judgement – Ironic really when the biggest person that’s judging you is you!

Fear of failure – you WILL make mistakes, fact! Make them, learn from them. It’s feedback, not failure.

Fear of ‘it’ not being good enough – Check the impact, ‘How much will this really matter in three months, six months, one year’s time?’

Imposter Syndrome – Where you think you’re going to be found out. You are – you’re going to be found out to be the fabulous person that you are.

I bet if you think about your family and best friends, you could share one thing that’s not perfect about them. If you can’t, then they’re probably perfectionists and hiding their weaknesses really well! We all have them.

A story about perfectionism

What expectations are you putting on yourself?

Let me share one of my personal experiences, which may help you realise that if you do have perfectionist traits you’re not on your own!

I went for my IIC & M (International Institute of Coaching & Mentoring) Accredited Senior Coach assessment. I was really nervous about it and procrastinated over it for about a year and a half. I finally did the assessment and I was stressed out all day waiting for the call to just be over and done with.

The main reason for my fear was that I’m not what you call a ‘purist’ coach, I don’t just coach, I bring in mentoring too, and for this assessment I had to stick to pure coaching.  I knew I’d passed as I was told on the call, and I got some great feedback.

I then just had to wait for the certificate and the actual grade to come through. When it did, I was really disappointed. The pass mark was 75%, I got 86%. I didn’t think I’d done that well. I completely discounted that I’d passed and was now an Accredited Senior Coach, all because of a silly number. My brain still says I should have got a higher grade but I have to remind my mindset monkey that it’s okay not to be perfect!

Are you perfect? No?? Why not??!!

I wrote about perfectionism in the chapters of a book I co-authored. Here’s an extract…

“Now you might not want to hear this. Perfectionism is also hiding a lack of confidence and the need to be liked.

Think about it for a moment…

  •      You don’t want to send out that letter with a typo on. Why? You don’t want people to think you’re unprofessional.
  •      You don’t want to put a post on social media that’s less than perfect. Why? Because you’re worried about what people think.
  •      You don’t start a new action/activity. Why? Because you think someone will do it better than you can.

We want people to like us, there is a need for approval and we think if we show any flaws then people won’t like us. Well, you know what you are NEVER going to get everyone to like you. NEVER. Some people will totally love and get you. Others might think you’re crazy or you might drive them crazy.

The tip to working through your perfectionism is you need to learn to let go.

For those of you that are perfectionists, I know, how on earth do you do that, it’s impossible, right?! Well, it can be done but it’s uncomfortable for a while.

Why is it so hard to do a less than perfect job, but so comfortable to attempt a better job?

Perfectionism doesn’t just affect your life, it may be really stifling your business/work too. I like things to be perfect, but I’m slowly learning that 80% can be good enough. My online coaching programmes might never have launched if I hadn’t chosen just to release them into the world and tweak as I go. People are taking steps in their businesses because I put myself out there; fear and faults, or not.

So what’s wrong with wanting to do a really good job or creating something perfect? Nothing. It’s when the judgement, analysis and criticism kick in that it becomes a problem. It’s when it stops us in our tracks, preventing us from moving forward that we need to recognise it’s holding us back.

Don’t let perfectionism ruin your life and/or work. Take some steps to deal with it.”

Become a work in progress like me!

Perfectionism is self-sabotaging behaviour and doesn’t serve you. It stops you from sharing your amazing gifts with the world. It’s time to let it go and be imperfectly perfect.

Call To Action: This week I want you to take some imperfect action

Let’s say;

  •      You have drafted some wording for a post, then use it – post it
  •      You might have a blog post sitting on your desktop, finish and publish it
  •      You might be waiting to get the right video equipment or the perfect background for your Facebook Live – just do it already. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Check out mine, I umm, ahhh, waffle and forget what I want to say. It’s all okay, don’t let perfectionism hold you back
  •      You might not be talking to people about what you do because your elevator pitch isn’t perfect – just share your message
  •      You might not be doing business because you don’t have a website. It’s all nonsense! One of my past mentors has been in business for 20 years and still doesn’t have a website. She gets clients. Do NOT let this kind of thing hold you back

You KNOW what it is you’re putting off. Just do it.

No more excuses. THIS WEEK!

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here – In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

Stop Seeking Validation

In this episode, I will explore ways to stop seeking validation in your business.

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One of the things I see time and time again in business is the need for us to validate what we’re doing as business owners.

You only need your approval

I work with a business bestie and often we ask each other something, that honestly, we already know the answer to. She was joking about it recently saying that it’s as if we have this 4-minute unspoken rule, where we post the question, want the answer in 4-minutes and if we don’t get it, then we just go ahead with our idea anyway! She was SO right! Why do we do that?! Why do we need to have others validate us somehow? (Rhetorical question – please don’t send me loads about mother and father issues – I get it, I have those too!) It happens in life, but I think when you’re in business it can come up even more often.

If you’re working for a boss, you have someone that can check up on you, keep pointing you in the right direction. When you work for yourself you’re essentially on your own. Okay, you might pay for people to support you, and you might have friends that understand your business almost as well as your own, but ultimately the buck stops with you and let’s be honest, sometimes that can be freakin’ scary!

Stop People Pleasing

We follow other people’s advice about being visible. Let’s say you want to write a blog post, but you hate blogging. If you follow someone that says blogging is the only way to grow your business, guess what you’re going to want to follow that advice.

What if there’s another way?

What if you can do business YOUR way?

Don’t like video? Then don’t do it! Seriously. You have permission not to do it. BUT and it is a big but, you need to find other ways to be visible, and where video is a pretty powerful tool, you may have to work harder in other areas of visibility to create the same traction. It’s still possible to be visible without doing video though.

Someone might say you should do something a certain way in your business and you do it but it doesn’t work. It might not, that’s business. It’s all about learning what does and doesn’t work. What works for one business won’t work for another. It’s all one big experiment.

You don’t need other people’s approval though, you just need to find out what works for you.

Live Your Goals, Not Theirs

Test YOUR goals, YOUR theories.

One of the things we do in my Rock Your Visibility programme is work on one area of visibility at a time and we test/measure what works/what doesn’t. That way you only have to test one area of visibility for a month. Still hate it? Don’t do it. Love it but not getting results yet? (results do take time) Keep going, test it over a longer period of time.

Trust Your Intuition

Stuck in a rut? Ask yourself, “What choices do I have here?” and notice what happens as you explore them in turn.

If you tune into your body, you’ll start to notice how it feels. Does it excite you or make you feel all twisty and icky in your tummy?

When you look at the idea on the page in front of you, what’s happening? Has it sent your mojo (motivation) packing or has it set you on fire, biting at the bit to get started?

If the former then it may not be your goal, it just may not what you want for YOUR life.

Now this doesn’t mean though that if it’s scary you don’t do it. Scary is a good thing, it helps you step up and reach new heights in your business. It’s time to stop people pleasing, to work out what goals are yours, what you can adapt and what you need to leave behind.

So remember this:

  • You only need your approval (Get the ideas for sure, but go with what’s right for YOU)
    Stop people pleasing (It doesn’t serve you as a business owner)
  • Live your goals, your life, not theirs
  • Trust your intuition – instead of “I can’t make this work” – ask “HOW can I make this work?”

If you want to double check everything though, there’s always that coach/mentor/friend who enables you to do that 4-minute unspoken rule! The timer starts now!

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here – In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.

What Stories Are You Telling Yourself?

In today’s blog post, I will talk about fear and shares a simple exercise to help you work through your fears in business.

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Running a business can be scary. The trouble is, we can also make it SO much scarier than it needs to be.

We can create ‘stories’ around our business that don’t serve us.

If you want to be successful in business, you want to have stories that empower you, rather than disempower you.

For most business owners, the thought of showing up and being visible can feel really uncomfortable. It can make you feel anxious, and sometimes even physically sick. Your mindset monkeys can get in the way and you might be asking yourselves things like:

  • What if they think my service/ offering isn’t good enough?
  • What if I market my services and nobody wants to work with me?
  • What if people don’t like me?
  • What if they judge me for what I put out there?
  • What if I’m successful?
  • What if I’m a failure?

Let me ask you something different:

  • What if the opposite is true?
  • What if your work is good enough?
  • What if people do like you and do want to work with you?
  • What if you do become a success?

What you’re telling yourself every day is building on your story. Let’s talk about the story you might be creating in your biz right now. Maybe this is what you’re telling yourself:

  • I have to work really hard
  • It’s challenging getting new clients
  • I find technology really challenging
  • Sales conversations are awkward
  • I never have enough time to do all I need to do
  • I take two steps forward and one step back
  • I’m going to have to go back and get a ‘proper’ job

Let’s shine a light on all of this fear, so that you can step into the successful business owner that you want to be.

Here’s a simple exercise for you:

Write down any of the fears that come up for you as you think about your business. These are all becoming your story, and we want to create a much more fabulous story instead!

Once you have a list of your fears, now you can start to do something about them.

I developed an acronym of FEAR, which was inspired by a coach I used to work with. She used, “I see you, I acknowledge you, I release you.”

Here’s what FEAR stands for and how you use the exercise:

F – Feelings – get into the feelings that are coming up for you and write them down
E – Express – read them out loud
A – Acknowledge – that it’s okay to have those feelings, thank them for showing up and choose to view things differently going forward
R – Release – Choose to release them one by one, by focusing on each one and saying “I choose to release you now” as you cross each one off the list

Here’s how it works in practice:

What you’ve written: “I have to work really hard in my business…”

Feeling: Mine is you have to work really hard, that brings up a feeling of anxiety in my tummy, it makes me feel worried that I won’t be able to do the other things that I want to do. (You can write the feeling if you want, or just feel into it – if you can. I often have to ‘think’ into it, but I do know if I really think about the issue it does bring up some kind of sensation/feeling for me)

Express: I have to work really hard to be successful in my business – say this statement out loud

Acknowledge: Say “Thank you for bringing this fear to my attention. I acknowledge you” (your mind is trying to protect you by bringing up this fear), acknowledge that this is how you feel. It’s okay for you to feel that way.

Release: I choose to release you now, cross it off the list. You can even say ‘Rubbish’ or ‘Nonsense’ or whatever word works for you to release any power it has over you. It’s SO freeing! You could even burn or shred the piece of paper, whatever works for you.

Now sometimes the fears don’t come back, but I’ve found that sometimes they are persistent and will still be there which is where we can then dig a bit more. The more you work on your fear, the easier you can clear it.

So, it’s time to let it all go and start creating a new, more empowering story.

Don’t let fear stop you from sharing what you do with the world. You’ve been given gifts and talents that people need you to share!

Your call to action: Shine the light on your fears by writing them out and working through them.

Here’s a link to my Fabulous Resource Centre: You’ll also get access to lots of other biz resources too!

Does Your Business Scare You On A Daily Basis?

Good! It should do! It’s totally normal and will help you and your business grow.

It’s been a while since I wrote. January was all about selling our home, moving into a rental for a while and then getting ready to up sticks to Scotland. To say it’s been an exhausting month is an understatement. The move itself – Well it’s been labelled ‘The worst day ever’ so that probably gives you an idea of how well that worked out. Throw in my back flaring up and let’s just leave it there!

So it’s back to business, which feels really good.

This morning I checked my Facebook messages and was given one of those ‘This time 5 years ago’ posts – The post was all about how I’d hit publish on my website 5 years ago today. I’ve been in business 6 years this October but can remember that website day SO vividly. I was seriously scared.

I had everything ready to go live, all I needed to do was hit the ‘Publish’ button. How hard could that be? It felt like I was exposing myself to the world – ‘Hey everybody, look at me!’ What would people say/think? Would I be judged for what I was planning to share going forward? Who was I to share my business? I was just plain ole’ Ruby!

Thought behind the website: Months and months of work

Actual bravery: 10 seconds

Result: Did people come running? Did they heck! It took way more than me pressing publish on my website for that to happen, but that bravery changed my mindset forever. I was now in business!

FUN FACT: Fear –  It gets all of us business owners. If you’re in business, you’re going to feel it. Get used to it, because it ain’t gonna go away! Lean into it, learn how to manage it, take teeny tiny brave steps and magic will happen!

Fast forward to today – still feeling the fear.

So what am I scared of today? Well let’s rewind a bit and I’ll share my story.

Carrie Green of the Female Entrepreneur Association runs a monthly membership club. I love her work – it’s fun, practical and she has a fabulous community.  Each month they share a ‘bundle’, essentially a mini training programme in different areas of business. In the second half of last year, I sent an email offering to write a Visibility Bundle for the FEA. After a selection process, I was invited to write the said bundle. Fast forward to today and it’s D-Day for my bundle to go live. Eek!

I’ve spent thousands of hours working on my mindset around business, and probably the same in money. Does that stop me from feeling the fear of something new, something bigger, an exciting milestone? Of course not! Here’s today’s scenario:

Thought behind the email: Ages

Actual Bravery: 10 seconds

Result: Today is the day when my 10 seconds of bravery* pays off

* 10 seconds of bravery comes from the film ‘We Bought A Zoo’ where a guy tells his son (I think!) that all he needs is 10 seconds of bravery to do anything. It’s SO true.

It doesn’t matter what level your business is at, your business fear won’t go away. It’s just fear at a new level. As you grow your business and you grow as a business owner, there will be another challenge and another opportunity for you to face.

So, how could you use 10-seconds of bravery to catapult your business TODAY?

Part 2 Rock Your Connection

In this blog post, I will be sharing part two of a seven part mini-training series to help you rock your visibility. Part one is all about rocking your mindset. Check out part one, Rock Your Mindset, if you missed it.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • Why you need to be passionate about your business, and how it’s not unspiritual to be paid for your services
  • What you need to get really clear on
  • A simple bust fearing strategy
  • Why you shouldn’t charge what you’re worth
  • How to stand out from the crowd
  • THE most important ‘tool’ in your business

Here’s a link to my Fabulous Resource Centre:

You’ll also get access to lots of other biz resources too!

Join my free FB community to connect with me and other fabulous solopreneurs to help you Rock Your Fabulous Biz.

Are You Losing Clients Through Your Worry Habit?

Today, I’m sharing some simple strategies to overcome worry in your business.

Join my free FB community to connect with me and other fabulous solopreneurs to help you Rock Your Fabulous Biz.

Read Full Transcript below...

Are you a worrier?

I can be.

The main reason I worry is due to overthinking, it just takes worry to a whole new level. We create lots of lovely stories to magnify the initial worry and before you know it, it’s as though the world is going to end.

Just to be clear, I’m talking only about worry here, not anxiety. Anxiety is different to worry in that worry can feel manageable, we know that we are worrying and can have some control over it. Anxiety feels more outside of our control. Often worry is exacerbated by the stories we tell ourselves about a situation. I’m not a counsellor, just sharing my own thoughts on worry.

View Things As A Challenge To Overcome, Rather Than Something To Worry About 

Let’s say you’re about to do a guest interview for someone, or you’re going to do a FB live. You can choose to view it as a challenge to overcome and put lots of planning and preparation in place. That way you’ll be as competent as you can possibly be, or you can view it as a foregone conclusion that it will be disastrous and everything will go wrong.

This might result in your mind going blank, maybe you’ll have prepped for all the wrong things and it will be a complete failure. Which one of these stories is going to make you feel more worried?! Planning and preparation will help me, or it’s going to go horribly wrong?

If you’re also into the law of attraction, you’ll know that you need to focus on what you want, or you’ll get those unwanted results too!

Let’s play for a moment….

What’s Worrying You About Being Visible In Your Business Right Now? 

Write down one thing that you’re worrying you about being visible in your business right now. If you’re not near pen and paper, just think what it might be.

This worry will more than likely bring up lots of feelings. Maybe you’ll feel that you’re going to be judged. You might feel vulnerable. You might feel disappointed that you’re not as confident as other people etc.

Write down or think about how you’d like to feel instead – make the feelings you want super powerful words.

This will help you to think about how things could be different, opening you up to a place of possibility and it encourages you to make changes.

Words you want to pull out are things like calmer, in control, relaxed, prepared. If they aren’t coming up then just imagine what it would feel like to be calmer, relaxed etc. instead of all of the stressful, sicky feelings that can come up with worry.

Now that you’ve got to a place of how you’d like to feel, let’s come up with a couple of useful strategies to help you shift that worry.

Worry is often about how much control we have, or think we have, over something.

Is It Within Your Circle of Control?

I love using Stephen Covey’s Circles of Control to help things in perspective. If you haven’t come across it, then think of a target, with three circles, a large outer one, a smaller middle circle and then the small circle in the centre:

  • His model shows that in the outer circle are things we can’t control, so they could be things like world hunger, or wanting someone to fall in love with us
  • The middle circle is the circle of influence, so these are things we can influence, but not necessarily control, so it could be things like making suggestions in a team meeting, encouraging people to go to a certain restaurant that you like (we aren’t talking about manipulation here, just about areas that we might be able to influence in some way)
  • The inner circle is the circle of control, so this might be how much we exercise or how we manage our worries

By checking in on these circles you can identify areas that you have no control over, so we might apply to be a guest on someone’s podcast show or for a speaking gig, but you can only influence that outcome by being the best that you can be in the information you send over in your application form, fully prepared etc.

Worrying about the outcome of that podcast application isn’t going to help. If you think you did a bad job of the pitch though you can start to learn more about how to do a really great pitch for your next one, which is something you can control.

A Couple Of Useful Questions

When you think about your worry, a great question I like to ask myself is, ‘What triggered this worry?’

Follow up with, “Is this within your circle of control?”

You can then ask yourself what the benefit of holding onto the worry is. This can seem strange, but sometimes when we don’t want to let go of something it’s because it serves us somehow. Maybe by having the worry, you won’t put yourself out there and be visible, you’re trying to keep yourself safe.

Ultimately, you want to always be thinking about a way of focusing on the solution, rather than going too much into analyzing the worry itself.

Stop Telling Yourself Stories

With our story telling we can lose perspective. This is where reframing can be very useful in helping us to move forward.

The problem is, we’re great at catastrophising things. We create unnecessary dramas where we  over generalise and make assumptions. All this does is move us further into a worry state. By challenging these assumptions you can raise awareness.

You may have experienced this with yourself, where you say, ‘I’m not good at that, which means I’m rubbish at everything for example’.

Challenge this assumption. Does you not being good at one thing mean you’re rubbish at everything? Unlikely! You might not be great at writing social media posts but you might make a mean Spaghetti Bolognese!

So, linking back to my title, of ‘Are you losing clients through your worry habit?’ You could be if you don’t get this in check, because you could be holding yourself back from being visible by being fearful about every move you’re making being the wrong one. You’ll also be putting out a very different energy in everything you do, one that doesn’t invoke confidence in your potential dreamie clients. If you don’t believe in you, then why would others believe in you?

It’s time to sort this worry habit, and it’s just that – a habit. It’s totally within your control. You just need to choose to challenge it and it will become a thing of the past.

To wrap up:

  • View things as a challenge to overcome, rather than something to worry about
  • Check whether the problem is within your circle of control. If not, let it go!
  • Stop telling yourself stories

What helps you overcome your worry habit? Share in the comments section.

Your call to action is to choose one strategy and test it out. Let me know how you get on

How brave are you willing to be to get visible?

How brave are you willing to be to get visible? In today’s post, I’m going to share how being brave can lead to new opportunities and more excitement in your business.

You can listen to the podcast on the player below, or scroll down to read the transcript.

Join my free FB community to connect with me and other fabulous solopreneurs to help you Rock Your Fabulous Biz.

Read Full Transcript below...

If you’ve been following me for a while you must have heard that I recently did what I call my very first grown up speaking gig.

Now it isn’t that I haven’t talked to a room full of people before, because I have. I’ve done over a 1000 motivational talks over 5 years, been a trainer, done group coaching, webinars, corporate presentations and more. It’s just that this was the first speaking gig for my business. It was me stepping up my visibility.

It feels scary stepping up your visibility, but you have a big message to share, so can’t hide!

It felt a bit scary. Not the speaking bit because I love that, but me saying I’m the expert in what I do on visibility. I feel confident now that I’m good at what I do, I know my stuff and I’ve helped hundreds of people with their visibility and mindset over the past few years, but the thing is this – once you put a label on it, then it goes to a whole new level, right?

Well, no, only if you let it. That’s just your own stuff. It doesn’t need to be any more scary at all. It’s the stories we tell ourselves about it that make the difference between it being a little bit nerve-wracking to full on panic attacks. Luckily I managed to keep it at the first level, with a few excited nerves.

What are you missing out on?

What I learned about doing the speaking gig though was bigger than just an experience of stepping up my visibility. It was that I had been missing out on so much.

It’s no secret that I’m an introvert, and help mostly introverts who are scared of being visible, and some extroverts too. It’s easy for me to hide behind my computer, and sit with my little dog Lulu by my feet at my desk. It’s a bit harder for me to go out there and do FB lives and webinars and networking meetings and things, I kinda have to psyche myself up for it if I’m honest.

Over the years it’s got easier, but it wasn’t always that way. I had to keep expanding my comfort zone, with each new thing making the next time easier again. I still do, my mandala post last week told you that I still have a long way to go when it comes to pushing through fear, but fear shouldn’t stop us.

As I said in that blog post, your message needs to be bigger than your fear.

What’s your passion?

What I learned though is that speaking is really my passion. I kind of discovered it again when I did a local networking talk recently, and realised how excited it made me feel. I absolutely LOVE my business, but this was an area I just wasn’t tapping into. I came out of that meeting absolutely buzzing, to the point I phoned my bestie and she told me I should record how excited I was in that moment because as the time went on I might forget.

Timing is everything

I’m a great believer that timing is everything, and maybe I needed it to be now that this gets added to my business. I’ve built a tribe, I walk my talk, I’ve been consistently visible, all the things I teach.

What if I hadn’t found that passion though, what if I hadn’t put myself forward for that speaking opportunity? What then?

Let me roll it back a bit. Sometime last year, I saw a post in a Facebook group asking if anybody knew any speakers out there for an event in Brussels. I decided to bite the bullet and be brave, and send a message to say, ‘Hey, I don’t suppose you’d consider me, would you?’

I went through an application process and got the gig. How exciting! Now I had to actually do it. Fast forward to the event and it was fabulous, it inspired me to do even more.

Step up in your business, and the opportunities will come your way

Let me tell you what’s happened in my business, literally in this past week, all because I was brave and put my hand up asking to be considered.

First there’s the actual things that have happened:

  • I’ve signed up new clients
  • I’ve been added as a trainer to a paid group to share my expertise on visibility
  • I’ve been asked to do a speaking gig in London
  • I’ve been invited to be part of a mastermind weekend in Stockholm in the summer
  • I’ve been invited to be part of a Telesummit
  • I’ve had not one, but two PR opportunities
  • I’ve been invited to do a tag-team type talk with a business friend
Get brave and take action

I’ve also mentally stepped up.

  • I’ve written an article for Huffington Post, I just need to edit and send. You can hold me accountable on that one!
  • I’ve reached out locally to do speaking gigs
  • I’ve talked to people about how to get more speaking gigs in general
  • I’ve invited people to do joint ventures with me
  • I’ve set a goal to reach out to a minimum of 30 people in April to get speaking gigs, joint ventures, invitations to my podcast and to ask for guest spots on other podcasts, and also to magazines. I’m a girl on a mission.

Ooh, PS. If you’re looking for someone for speaking gigs, to do joint ventures, to be a guest on your podcast, I’m your girl!

I’m telling you this because you never know what one little act of courage can bring into your business, and how it can change how you do things. Yes, it can be scary but it’s oh so worth it!

So here’s two things I want to ask you today, your call to action if you like:

  1. Are you following through on what you’re passionate about? Dig really deep, because there might be another element you could add to your business that really excites you. It could open you up to new possibilities.
  1. How brave are you willing to be to get visible?

Try this mantra on for size.

My message is bigger than my fear!

PS. Pick up a copy of my 3k Case Study where I showcase a client who brought in an additional 3k into her business in 6 weeks, all while holding down a 4-day a week job and managing a family.

Do you feel exposed in your business? (What I learned about fear from a mandala)

Do you feel exposed in your business? In today’s post, I’m sharing what I learned about fear from a mandala. What I learned can help you show up more in your business. No more playing it small (Be warned, this is a longer post than normal)

This past weekend I was a speaker at an event in Brussels.  We’d had a busy day and a beautiful lady called Tanya Arler, Spiritual Teacher and Inspirational Speaker, asked if we’d like to join her in the evening to do a mandala. She said she’d share a little message around what it means.  If you don’t know what a mandala is, it’s basically a circular drawing. In spiritual circles (excuse the pun) it can be a way to get a message about what your soul wants. Now don’t shoot me down in flames if that’s not a great description, it’s just how I like to describe it!

I am really creative, so couldn’t wait. We all sat around a table and were asked to set an intention of one question that we’d like answered.

One Question I Wanted Answered

Mine was “What do I need to do/know to make my business explode so that I can serve thousands of people and help them to be fabulous in their businesses?”

Once we’d set our intention, we were given the task of drawing a circle by tracing around a plate, and then colour it in.

Here’s the finished mandala, what I’m sharing will make more sense when you can see it!

So I did my bit of doodling in the middle. I started off doing a bit of Zentangle*, which is a structured type of pattern, then realised that was going to take forever so I drew some wiggly lines that I then filled in with bits of colour. I added a couple of random stripey shapes and lots of dots. I finally added some yellow ‘flames’ if you like, around the inside of the circle, leaning at an angle around the edge of the circle into the centre. (See the Zentangle image I drew below so you know what I mean when I say Zentangle)

Structure & Free-Flow

The lovely Tanya came around and gave some feedback. She checked my question and said that I had a bit of structure (that Zentangle bit at the beginning)  I’d realised that was a bit too much like hard work and I then went into more free-flowing. If you know me, that’s EXACTLY what I’m like. I’m a Virgo, I like structure, but I want fun so I pull myself out of the super structure to bring more flow. So far, so good. Nothing to fear so far, huh?

Staying Inside My Comfort Zone

We talked about this explosion I wanted in my business, and how it was interesting that I hadn’t gone outside of the circle. I’d also contained my yellow (my explosion if you like) on the inside! What did this mean? Well, it meant that I was super excited about my business, and was exploding but not sharing enough in the outside world. Oh, okay, if you say so. I thought I was, but maybe not then. The dots meant I was in rhythm with life, which I kinda think I am.

So, I had to go back to the picture and add in yet more colour/detail which I did. I sat back and looked at my picture. Good, that was fun, I thought.

And ENORMOUS fear kicked in!

So my next task was to extend the yellow from the spiral in the centre all the way out to the edges of my rays and beyond. Easy, right?

No, not freakin’ easy at all. I literally could not push my yellow pencil past the boundary of the circle to go into my first ray. I felt SO much fear, it was incredible. How can it feel so scary to move a pencil past a pencil line on a piece of paper? This was getting really weird now. I kept taking deep breaths and telling myself, “It’s okay, I can do this, I’ve got this” and then the fear would start to dissipate slightly before going onto the next ray and the next.

WOW! I felt panic and fear in my chest, I could feel myself welling up as I worked my way around the rays. One of the other speakers sitting opposite me, who’s intuitive, said she could feel the fear that was coming up for me.

Now I could understand it if I was doing something really scary, but let’s get it in perspective, this was a yellow pencil and a piece of paper! SO bizarre! What I learned was that the circle was my comfort zone so while I thought I was pushing through my comfort zones, it wasn’t to this degree. It wasn’t to the degree that I need to push through if I want to explode my business and help thousands of people.

“So do you really want to explode your business, even though it’s going to feel this scary?”

Tanya then asked me, “So do you really want to explode your business, even though it’s going to feel this scary?” Yes, I said, I want to help thousands of people. Okay, so I kept going.

Eventually, I got all the way around the circle, you’ll be pleased to know, and I finished my rays. (All with Tanya repeatedly asking me if I really wanted to explode my business) Even writing this now, I can feel the fear rising again about what action I need to take to really get my business visible so I can help thousands. Wow!

All good, I made it and felt better. She then said the spiral didn’t feel like it was big enough, she felt it needed to extend all the way out to the edge of the paper. This bit was about expansion, about constantly uplevelling and growing in order to be of service, not going round in circles but each time going further and further out into and beyond my comfort zone I guess. I could cope with that, it felt progressive which was good.

There will be chaos in your business – it’s okay

Next up, I needed to add colour, I wanted green which is apparently a spiritual colour so that felt good. I added green around the edges of my rays and sat back and looked at it. Tanya and another lady asked what I thought of it. I said I didn’t like it, it annoyed me. Tanya asked why it annoyed me. I replied that it wasn’t pretty, it felt chaotic and messy. I like my pictures to flow and have structure (funny that, based on what I shared earlier!) She said that if I want to explode my business, then I need to accept that there will be times when it’s messy and chaotic and I have to think about how I can bring it back into something more ordered. I might not like how it looks, but that’s okay.

Lastly, I needed to add in something else, so I added some blue dots all the way around the edge, that bit felt exciting somehow and I felt my picture was done. Messy, and ugly, but done! 

So what has all of this got to do with you?

Stop playing small – it’s time to show up like you mean it!

Well, I learned that it doesn’t serve people by you playing small, that while you might be pushing through your comfort zones there’s a limit and that perceived limit may be stopping you from helping thousands of people.

I learned that business might get messy, and let’s be honest, that’s the reality of being in business, it can feel chaotic at times. I also learned that it’s okay if you need to take a step back, it’s not all about pushing forward all the time. My biggest lesson was that while I thought I was being brave, I actually haven’t even touched the surface of how brave I need to be to help more people. Are you ready to be that brave? That’s really scary for me to be honest. I’m an introvert. I’m okay with stepping up but then I need a bit of a lie-down. Deep breathing might become the new go-to tool for getting through it.

I remember when I was single after going through my divorce, people would try and match-make me with guys that weren’t quite right and I said then, as I say now in my business, “I won’t settle, I know what I want and I’m prepared to wait for that and do what it takes to get the perfect person for me.” I am now going to take that into my business too, no settling, it’s time for us to step up even more as leaders and to grow our tribes so that we can have an even bigger impact.

I know, the more people I can help, the more I can work on my homeless project I want to do. It’s time to make our messages bigger than our fears! Join me in becoming Fearless Visibility Divas!

If you want to connect with the lovely Tanya, which you totally should because she really is AMAZING, you can sign up to her blog, and connect with her on her website and/or Facebook page. I’m meeting up with her again in July and can’t wait for instalment 2!

PS. If you like the idea of trying out Zentangles for yourself, then you’ll love Pinterest. It’s fabulous for both personal and business use. In fact, I’m running a 3-day live experience on attracting beautiful dreamie clients into your business next week, starting Tuesday 6 April. Come and join me – Pinterest Rocks Live. It’s going to be FAB! What’s amazing about Pinterest is it’s a free and fun platform to work on – what’s not to like?!

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